Because I have inside knowledge, what with me being a female and all, I can tell you from personal experience that girls think about some of the dumbest things. And we can dwell on these things FOR-EV-ER. I once spent an entire weekend contemplating the pros and cons of switching from orange, pineapple, banana juice to pineapple, orange, banana juice. Let me tell you...there's a big difference. This week I am making a list of some of the dumbest notions to ever cross my mind available to anyone with an internet connection. But if you still need proof that all girls should be given one free lobotomy...read on.
Stupid Thoughts That Have Crossed My Mind Because I'm a Girl
(I am ashamed of some of these and oddly proud of a few.)
"I hate her. She's so pretty."
"Career aspirations? I'm gonna be a trophy wife. Duh."
'If I get my gallbladder removed, I can lose 3 pounds."
"If I sell a kidney on the black market, I can lose 2 pounds and make money!"
"I want to form a Spice Girls tribute band."
"There's something I don't like about her. I think it's her face."
"Ugh I'm having a bad eyelash day."
"Why do I have a lazy eyebrow?"
"He hasn't texted me back in over 5 minutes. That's it. He hates me."
"Does this nail polish make my fingers look fat?"
"Shopping burns lots of calories."
"Do these shoes make me look fat?"
"I wanna be a gypsy."
"I could watch Lifetime all day."
"Does my hairline make me look fat?"
"I think Mean Girls is about my life."
"I could so be a Disney Princess."
"How does football even work?"
"Why is baseball on TV 11 months out of the year?"
"Do these Spanx make me look fat?"
"I can't open this. I might break a nail."
"Does my eye color make me look fat?"
"My ear piercings are so uneven."
"My celebrity look alike is Mr. Potato Head."
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