Instagram For Dummies

I've already done one post about appropriate Instagram etiquitte, but I feel that it is necessary that I add a part duex. This is partially because Instagram is my favorite social media site, so I want to keep it sacred. I don't have a Facebook and Twitter stalking can only go so far. A person's Instagram can reveal a lot of information about them. Mainly, if someone is doing any of the things on this list, you don't wanna be friends with them.

Keep in mind, these are just the things that annoy ME personally on Instagram. I still follow people who do one or all of the following. I'm sure there are at least 50 people out there right now thinking "Rachel is so annoying on Instagram, she likes all my pictures, she uses too many pic stitches, she Instagrams too many crafts." And that's fine because as my hero, Carrie Bradshaw, once said - the only critique that really matters is the one you give yourself. And I give myself an F for Fabulous!

Private Instagrams
I think I speak for everyone when I say, ain't nobody got time fo dat. You might think you have a good reason for having a private Instagram. I don't want my ex to have access to it, I like to control who sees photos of my cats, I have a stalker, I'm in the witness protection program, I work for the CIA. Yawwwwwwwn. The thing about private Instagrams is I know when you let me follow you and don't follow me back. I know you've seen my profile and made the conscious decision to not follow me back. So I'm obviously gonna look through all your posts and then unfollow you. Cause really.

Instagramming Tweets
If I cared what you were tweeting, I would follow you on Twitter. And if I do follow you on Twitter, I've already seen it. Screenshot is one of the greatest gifts people of the twenty-first century have been given, so use it wisely folks. Don't waste it on taking pictures of your own tweets to then share on Instagram. With great power, comes great responsibility.

Instagramming Notes of General Questions
Again, this is another case of someone not using their screenshots wisely. If you have some random question you want answered, Twitter or Facebook is fine. Hey, as long as it doesn't include me, start a group message, I don't care. But when you type out a note on your phone that says something like "Anyone have a Snuggie I can borrow?" you cross 2 lines. Line 1 - don't ask this over Instagram. Line 2 - get your own Snuggie. Also...how do you people get likes on those posts? Cause who really likes that? #Baffled

Following Back
This is of course a matter of personal taste, some people refuse to follow anyone back, some people will follow anyone. It's a delicate balance.  I just want it known that if you do not follow me back, I am going to unfollow you. If you unfollow me and I realize it, I am going to unfollow you. You won't know when it's coming, but it will come. Obviously you aren't obligated to follow strangers but I think we've all had that awkward conversation at the supper table when you ask your mom why she didn't follow you back. My general rule is if I see you in person and don't immediately turn and start walking in the opposite direction, I will follow you back.

Hashtags
#Oh #My #Gosh Why is this so hard for some people? Among my least favorite are #followforfollow #likesforlikes #FoodPorn and #nom. I also hate when people proceed to hashtag literally every word they just said in their caption. Also, #ThrowBackThursday is often misused. You can't have a throwback to something from last week. My words to live by are 364 days, does not a throwback make, wait a year for a throwback to reappear.

Consistency
As far as I'm concerned, when it comes to social media consistency is key. Nowhere is this more apparent than on Instagram. Consistency doesn't mean posting everyday, but you should at least check Instagram regularly. We've all been there, you make a new friend, go to follow them on Insta and you see they have about 5 posts and the last one was from 10 weeks ago. Now you don't know what do to. You don't want to follow them and sit there for months waiting for them to open their app. Your followers deserve better.

Food
I really really hate seeing people Instagram their every meal. If I were to Instagram everything I ate, I would be placed in Instagram jail for posting too much in 24 hours and my profile would look like the official Instagram of Wendy's. There are some times it is okay to Instagram food. If you made whatever meal/dessert/snack yourself, it is okay to share said creation. If your friends made you a birthday cake or you spot some really cute holiday-themed food. Other than that, if I wanna see pics of grilled trout I will go to foodnetwork.com, not Instagram.

Pets
Perfectly ok to Instagram pictures of your adorable animals. Not ok if when looking at your profile I can't tell that it actually belongs to a human. That being said, there are a few species that require round-the-clock Instagram exposure: pomskies, otters, miniature animals, hedgehogs. So if you own one of those feel free to continuously upload pics and send them to me directly via email if you so wish.

Multiple #MCMs or #WCWs
They're like shopping sprees people, you only get one a week! If John Stamos is your man candy (as he should be) then he is your man candy! Don't make him share the spotlight with 3 other guys. And come Wednesday when Ariana Grande is your woman crush, don't also upload pics of Jennifer Lawrence and Christina Hendricks. I can only take in so much physical perfection at a time.