I hope you're all familiar with the Mean Girls Hunger Games tumblr because it is mahogany! And by mahogany I of course mean mega genius. I have been a huge proponent of combining 2 things you like to get something you love ever since Brad Pitt and Jennifer Aniston first got together. I admit that I almost gave up on the theory when they split but as usual, empty carbohydrates were there for me. Think about it. Chocolate + peanut butter = Reese's. Chicken + spaghetti = chicken parmesan. Chocolate + anything = chocolate-covered awesomeness. But it doesn't just work for food.
Late Friday night I had the stroke of genius to combine Harry Potter and Mean Girls. You're welcome.
"Bellatrix's hair is so big because it's full of evil."
This is how the best character of the series should have been introduced. It really says it all.
"I mean, it's just the elder wand. We could really just..."
When Harry breaks the elder wand at the end of the last movie, he should have given a piece to everyone who deserved to be Spring Fling Queen (Ron, Hermoine, Neville, Professor McGonagall, Hagrid).
"They're life ruiners. They ruin people's lives."
I imagine this as a bonding scene where Siruis explains dementors to Harry. Could also be used when the Death Eaters enter a scene.
"I have this theory that if you shaved off all her hair, she'd look like Voldemort."
How to describe the less-fortunate looking of the wizarding world. A particularly cruel way to refer to magical creatures without noses.
"One time, Fleur Delacour met John Stamos on a plane, and he told her she was pretty!"
Right after the triwizard tournament competitors are announced the camera should have panned over to Hogwarts students revealing tidbits about Krum, Diggory and Delacour.
"I hear his hair is insured for $10,000."
Lucius Malfoy's hair has its own stunt double. True story. He needs to keep it lush and flowing for when he does car commercials in Japan. Why do you think the Malfoy's are so rich?
"You can't sit with us!"
I think Voldemort should use this line when he orders Nagini to eat someone. Ron could use it when Ginny gets to Hogwarts and tries to hang around. Ginny is my least favorite character of the whole series. That's saying a lot.
"That is social suicide!"
Whenever a first year says they hope they get Hufflepuff Ron should be there to remind them of this. I mean Hufflepuff? Really? Might as well be a squib.
"Four points for you Gryffindor, you go Gryffindor."
When Gryffindor comes back and wins the House Cup, Dumbledore should have announced the victory this way while everyone else LOLed at Slytherin.
"I just have a lot of feelings."
Moaning Myrtle when anyone asks her about how she got her name. Chamber of Secrets will always be my favorite but she almost ruined it. Myrtle's voice is worse than a mandrake's scream, am I right?
"She doesn't even go here."
Dolores Umbridge takes over Hogwarts and everyone realizes that she is actually the most evil character in the entire series. Someone should have jumped up and screamed "She doesn't even go here!" every single time she made Filch hang up a new rule.
"I'm sorry that people are so jealous of me but I can't help it that I'm so popular."
Pansy Parkinson when everyone just stares at her when she suggests they turn Harry over to the dark lord and the Minerva orders her taken to the dungeon.
"Tell him his hair looks sexy pushed back."
Hermoine to Lavender in the hospital after Ron unknowingly reveals who really has his heart. Hermoine would never be that forward or cruel, but someone seriously needs to have a talk with Lavender. Like what is her damage?
I want to end this post by explaining the fundamental difference between me and my good friend Chris. Chris will always miss 100% of the dunks he doesn't take. I will always miss 100% of the dunks I do take.
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