ThanksGiving Me a Headache

Thanksgiving and Christmas breaks are upon us and for the college students going home to their families, this means a temporary trading of questions like "How does a 26% decrease in the supply of cocaine affect the demand for a Kennedy in the White House?" and "What were the effects of the French Renaissance on present day Mauritania?" for questions that are even harder to answer like "What are you doing after graduation?" and "Do you have a boyfriend yet?"

Since an overwhelming majority of the people who read this blog are directly related to me, I decided to take this opportunity to explicitly list all of the subjects I don't want to talk about tomorrow and throughout the Christmas season and, you know, ever again.

Things I Super Don't Wanna Talk About With Stuffing in my Mouth

School
You're gonna say "How's school?" and I will try to keep a straight face while saying "Great!" because I want you to think that I go to class and do homework and study for tests and all that jazz that really loses its appeal after high school. And you will think I'm a few years younger than I really am and then pretend to care about my major to make up for it. So I will save you the trouble of trying to pretend that being a double liberal arts major isn't going to leave me vastly unprepared for the real world.

Work
I don't have a job. So instead I will talk about Carolina For The Kids (Dance Marathon) until you think the 24 hour marathon has already come and gone since I started talking. Actually, I would love to talk about this but we have to save something for my graduation so let's hold off.

Plans
By senior year, every time you come across someone older than you they will ask about your plans for after graduation. Even people who graduated last year and still have no idea what they want to be when they grow up will ask about what you're doing in May. I have no idea. Not even half an inkling as to where I will be in 6 months. So unless you wanna hear sarcastic answers like "finally buying my own Netflix account" or "getting a celebratory tattoo" let's go with don't ask, don't tell.

Love
Because my family has this thing where they think I'm much more desirable than I actually am. It's so confusing to come home to "I'm sure you break a lot of hearts" and then go back to school where the most recognition I get is "Mr. Potato Head is that you?" Imagine my surprise when around the dinner table one of my aunts says "Oh, I'm sure you have to beat the boys off with a stick." Ummm, no, pretty much just my face and personality, no stick necessary.


Things I Would LOVE to Discuss Over Pumpkin Pie:

The Latest Season of The Mindy Project
Danny and Mindy are together at last! I can't decide how I feel about it because on one hand I think they're adorable and soul mates but on the other hand I think that I'm his soul mate so we'll play it by ear.

What I Want for Christmas
I've got my eye on plenty of books this year, at least enough to help me avoid textbooks until after Spring Break. I would also like a new piercing and a cape. Missy vetoed both of those. So this convo topic will run dry pretty quick.

Some Way I Can Legally Trick Someone Into Paying For Grad School 
I've only recently decided that I want to go to grad school in the near future but I also have no interest in taking the GRE so...you can see I'm going to need a lot of help to pull this off. With the right amount of plotting and scheming and access to the right trust fund I'm sure I'll figure it out.

Love
So love is on here twice. For the most part I really don't want to talk about it because there is literally nothing to talk about. But on the other hand, at least my family and friends keep asking so they haven't decided I'm hopeless, they still believe that one day I will have something new to report. Just yesterday a friend from high school asked if I had any new love interests. I was thrilled to be asked that, like thank you so much for thinking that could happen! How sweet!