We've all been there. You meet someone you really like, you feel sparks, you think there's something there...but then you discover something unforgivable about them. They have an outie belly button. They use the Oxford comma. They're a convicted felon. For me, if you're a registered Democrat, whatever fleeting attraction that I invented us sharing in my imagination will go no further. Don't get me wrong, some of my best friends live next door to liberals, but at 21, I'm an old maid with no time to waste on eligible bachelors I could never marry and raise children with.
So after accidentally falling for a Democrat yet again, a friend suggested I make a dating website that matches couples up according to their political views. (My plan was to form RAUD, Republicans Against Undercover Democrats, a support group for people like me.) I must say I'm surprised and disappointed that I couldn't find any such dating websites already in existence. I would sign up for GOPDate faster than you can say supply-side economics. So despite lacking the coding abilities to actually create PoliPairings, a website that puts the party! in partisan, I got started.
Members will begin by simply answering what political party they identify with. After answering republican, they will advance to the next level. Did I forget to mention that this is primarily a website designed to locate all men in the southeastern United States with political views matching mine exactly? Oops.
Question 2 asks the men if they would consider themselves a conservative republican, moderate republican or liberal republican. They will place their marker on a scale from liberal to conservative amongst the markers of famous republicans and celebrities. Okay, celebrity. Fred Thompson is really our only ally in Hollywood, God bless him. Speaking of allies...for bonus points users can select which country they would most want the US to form an alliance with. The choices are Israel.
Conservative republicans are then asked to select their favorite president. Choices are Abraham Lincoln, Ulysses S. Grant, Theodore Roosevelt, Herbert Hoover, Dwight Eisenhower, Richard Nixon, Ronald Reagan, and George W. Bush. Participants who select Roosevelt, Reagan and Bush will move on to answer a very invasive and comprehensive set of questions about every political issue I care about. Participants who chose Grant and Eisenhower have an essay to explain themselves.
The final section is fill in the blank questions about Supreme Court Justices. Observe.
Antonin Scalia is _______.
Clarence Thomas is _______.
Elena Kagan ______.
Word Bank
THE man
also the man
sucks
Once this website leads me to my husband and we celebrate our July 4, 2015 nuptials, I would be more than happy to spread the love and help connect my fellow republicans to their GOP spouses. PoliPairings can expand to help unite all political parties with their respective soul mates. The live version of the website will be a lot less narrow than my version. After selecting their political affiliation on a spectrum, users will be given an avatar in the appropriate color. From light blue to navy and pink to maroon, democrats and republicans will be able to date in harmony once again. You're welcome America.
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