WGW Style Guide

What separates the men from the boys? Wallets that don't include Velcro. And grammar.

I feel very strongly about the importance of grammar. I have a journalism degree and two comical t-shirts to prove it. One day my children will have to pass a grammar test of my making if they want to have social media accounts. This week I've compiled a list of the grammatical errors that most make me want to literally die. And that's not a misuse of the word literally. I promise.

Aisle/Isle
Brides and grooms are really excited to be walking down the isle, and not just at destination weddings in the Caribbean. If you're shopping or uniting in holy matrimony, it's aisle. If you're taking a trip to Hawaii or Indonesia it's isle. And I'll/aisle/isle be expecting you to do better in the future.

A Part/Apart
Speaking of weddings...I can't tell you how many bridesmaids I've seen on social media thanking the bride and groom for "letting me be apart of your big day!" When you spell it wrong, it means the literal opposite of what you are trying to say. Either you're a part of something or you're apart from it. I'm tempted to give AP Style Guides as my wedding favors but alas, always an editor, never a bride.

Defiance
Every time a high school senior posts about how they are "defiantly excited to attend (insert educational institution)" an alumnus dies. True story bro. If I worked in the admissions office I would DEFINITELY rescind your acceptance. Spell check yourselves before you wreck yourselves.

Nevermind
It's literally always never mind. Not your fault. Nirvana's fault. Smells like teen ignorance. If you ever happen upon a grammatical instance where you need to use nevermind I will resurrect Kurt Cobain for you.

The Oxford Comma
I hate being political on this blog, but the Oxford Comma is too controversial a subject to neglect. For years, young grammarians have been looking for me to weigh in on this debate that is tearing America in half (if halves weren't even and instead were like 90/10). I'm not ashamed to say that I HATE THE OXFORD COMMA. If you want to use it in the privacy of your own home, that's your business. But I don't use it because I want my writing to read conversational, I want it to sound like I'm saying it and I hope you all read these blog posts in my voice. I'm often met with the argument of "well leaving it out could change the meaning of the sentence" and to that I say, don't stick an appositive phrase at the end of a sentence you psychopath. I assume a modicum of intelligence among my readers and know that they are bright enough to discern that if I say I love books, raccoons and bread, I don't think that raccoons and bread are types of books. Although, would I read an entire book about raccoons and/or bread? Sure.

Possessives
If I see another person tweeting "I love Sunday's." I might delete my Twitter and that would be a real shame because I'm hilarious (@redwhiteandrae). What is Sunday in possession of that you love? I love Sunday's church services? I love Sunday's newspaper? I love Sunday's football? Sure. If you love the actual day it's Sundays. Punctuate the Lord's day correctly please.

Your/You're
Watch Friends. Learn it. Live it.
"Y-O-U-apostrophe-R-E means you are. Y-O-U-R means your." If Rachel Green had read my blog, maybe she would be Rachel Geller by now.

I will leave you with these words of wisdom.
Every comma needs a sentence but not every sentence needs a comma.