This year, I want to give her an even better gift than day-old fruit. So my gift to Missy is exactly what a true introvert such as herself will love - I'm taking the attention off of her. Instead of blogging about how great my mom is, I am proud to present the first ever #DanaChronicles, the next in my ongoing series of Chronicles where I cyber bully my family members for your entertainment.
Let the record show that our subject, my Aunt Dana, gave permission...kind of.
Allow me to properly introduce our roastee...my Aunt Dana is my mother's younger sister. We are pretty close and growing up I took almost all of my pop culture cues from her. So when my friends were all watching Mary-Kate & Ashley movies, we watched VHS tapes of Runaway Bride, Pretty Woman and Notting Hill. We've never met a Julia Roberts movie we didn't like or a Friends episode we couldn't quote. And we take Jennifer Aniston VERY seriously. It's a lifestyle.
We still have a lot of television in common like Project Runway, America's Next Top Model and of course Game of Thrones.
We also love medical dramas but she's an ER purist while I prefer Grey's Anatomy. Maybe she likes that stuff because she used to be a nurse...or she still is a nurse? Is being a nurse like being in a gang? Is it for life? IDK. In any event, she gets all of my medical questions and always suggests Motrin even though A) I only ever have Advil and B) as a layperson I am not privy to the difference between ibuprofen and acetaminophen.
Luckily she didn't have to treat me for salmonella recently, but I did learn that she has discovered GIFs. So this should be a wild ride. So far I have been treated to a young Macaulay Culkin, Beyonce and the Seinfeld cast.
Dana lets me babysit and hang out with her kids a lot even though some would say I'm a bad influence. Like when I accidentally taught a then 4-year-old about mixed drinks. In my defense...he kept telling me his milk tasted minty what was I supposed to do, pretend that's normal? Smell it or check the date? In hindsight I probably should have made sure it wasn't expired or contaminated. You live and you learn.
Caleb doesn't get all of the life lessons, I teach Blakeley plenty too. Most recently I taught her "sucka" and that was a big hit.
But from the looks of it, Blakeley doesn't even need my tutelage...she's already a sass master.
I look forward to a #DanaChronicles part 2 at some point once she forgets that I am likely screenshotting all of our personal conversations.
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