Throwing a Fitbit

I used to be like you. Moving through life freely, unencumbered by a cuff of metal and rubber that would track my every move. But those days are long gone now. It all started in college when I noticed that it seemed like every girl I knew started wearing the same bulky black bracelet. All the time. And at first I figured it was just another trend that I didn't get. Like when I started college and saw everyone wearing what I would later learn were Jack Rogers. I just assumed that all the girls happened to get the same pair of cheap flip flops to use as shower shoes and wore them on move in weekend. The bracelets had to be another fad I wasn't into like crop tops or pants not made out of spandex.

Imagine my surprise when I realized that those tight cuffs every sorority girl was sporting were like the updated version of the pedometers we used to get in gym class. The Fitbit craze had begun. I was completely uninterested. I have never really been a watch person. When I was like 6 I had 2 watches I was into. One was a pink Winnie the Pooh watch featuring Piglet and the other was a silver keychain shaped like a ladybug. When you squeezed the antennae the wings opened to reveal a little analog watch face that I had no idea how to read. It was adorable.

The sophistication level of my watches was rivaled only by my fear of learning to tell time. I thought that when my first grade teacher said we would learn to tell time, that meant that we always had to know what time it was. I imagined I would have to learn not only how to read a clock, but also how to keep track of the time when I saw a clock and then estimate how much time had passed since if someone were to jump out from behind a tree and ask me. So imagine my disappointment when both of those watches were sent to a watery grave within a week of each other. Most watches do not do well with a spin cycle, even in the comfort of your overall pocket. Corduroy overalls  can keep a lot of things out (friends, love interests...thanks mom) but not water.

I swore off watches for quite some time after that. Figured it just wasn't God's plan for me to know the time. But then a new mania hit the jewelry scene. Suddenly there were watches with changeable ribbon bands. My aunt got me one for my birthday and I was unstoppable. I could wear a watch with any outfit! Need the time? I got you! Am I wearing green? Because there's a band for that. How about pink pinstripes? There's a band for that. I rode that watch phase all through middle school until I decided in high school that having any sort of band around my wrist made my arm look fat. Clearly this is the musing of a teenage girl with a healthy self-concept. I would go on to do great things when I wasn't tied up in copious amounts of therapy.

So for years I banned bangles and I shunned stringy BFF bracelets. I suffered in silence. Who would understand? "I'm sorry I'm late for work, watches make me look fat." And I stuck to that for a long time. I stopped buying any form of bracelet. The beauty of accessories is that they're supposed to be one size fits all. Fitbits and Fitbit-adjacent products became more and more popular. Then came the smartwatches. I didn't want to partake in the fitness tracking due to my complicated relationship with my own wrists, but I also thought they looked truly awful with anything besides athleisure. I would cringe seeing photos of women at formal events wearing them. Ladies. There's a reason Nike doesn't have an evening gown line.

Then one day, on a lark and an addiction to online shopping, I decided to order some cheap fitness tracker on Amazon Prime Day. How many of my stories begin with "One time...on Amazon Prime Day..."? I planned to just wear it during exercise to track my heart rate. My period app already tracks the distance I walk for reasons I don't understand. I wouldn't be one of those people. This was to be a strictly part-time relationship.

And now I totally get it. Within 24 hours I was hooked. After that first night, I woke up wondering how people lived without knowing EXACTLY how much sleep they got the night before. And walking! There are people out there walking for free! Taking steps they ain't even getting credit for. Ya hate to see it. That's why women were leaving them on when they attended proms and weddings and balls. Dancing is just stepping but different!

I think the biggest eye opener of this experience was realizing just how hard (read: impossible) it is to get 10,000 steps in a day. A week? Sure! Probably. But a day? Either I'm a literal potato or 10,000 steps is harder than it looks. I mean I'm a teacher on summer break. So in 14 waking hours I am expected to walk 10,000 steps? I doubt it. Although I have found ways to increase my step count.


I have decided to buy an actual Fitbit as a reward once I hit some milestone. Maybe once I walk 10,000 cumulative steps. I offered my current fitness tracker to my brother once I get the Fitbit. He's like actually into fitness and as far as I know doesn't have any hangups about arm fat. I figured he could get just as addicted as me, if not more. He passed up the opportunity because he already has an app that tracks how far he walks. Not Flo, like me, but Pokemon Go. So apparently being late to trends runs in the family.