Onto The Stage

After years of having my talents overlooked in favor of students (and quite frankly amateurs) and being hidden away backstage as to not upstage anyone, I have finally made my way onto the stage! Or at least my voice has. 

Tomorrow through Saturday I will be playing the voice of the Giant in my school's fall musical, Into the Woods. It is a role made famous by Dame Judi Dench, Glenn Close, Frances de la Tour and now, moi! Technically I am still not on stage...but my dad always said I had a face for radio so I think this is a win-win.

This week of rehearsals has been rough. I'm at work for like 12 hours straight and wondering why I signed up for this in the first place. It's probably because I saw the song "Children Will Listen" and got hopeful. My students? Listening to me? That's the dream! 

There are no small parts, only small actresses playing giants offstage because in real life they lack the stature and size to be a giant, more like a fairy TBH.

I'm in the playbill and everything!

As a method actress, I started getting into character immediately. I asked my boss for 2 weeks paid vacation time to go to Texas. Everything's bigger in Texas right? He declined. I guess he has so much faith in me based on past performances that he knew I didn't need any additional preparation.

If only I had that same faith in myself. I still wanted to do something - anything - to feel more like a giant out for revenge after some average sized humans killed her husband. I binge watched the latest season of Little Women: LA to get used to saying average sized instead of other descriptors that are actually offensive when you think about it, like "normal". 

And then I created a vision board so that the costume and props department could procure everything I needed for my latest debut.

Naturally I was going to need refreshments in my trailer. Nothing fancy. A new Chick-fil-A nugget tray each night. ONLY Polynesian & honey roasted barbecue dipping sauces. So help me if I see a Zesty Buffalo I will FLIP. I can't work like that.

I would need a red carpet look as well and a bedazzled microphone. How else would I be able to tell it apart from the others? Ultimately I just had to make my own. If it's worth doing...it's worth DOING.

Despite being told that a costume for me wasn't in the budget for no reason other than that I am not seen by the audience at all, I requested a robe. It just seemed like what a giant would wear. It's gotta be hard to shop for your body at 18 feet tall. An open-front robe was really my only idea save for a wrap dress but if a mere two thousand Swarovski crystals weren't in the budget then I highly doubt Diane von Furstenberg was an option.

In some ways it was easy for me to get into the mindset of an angry giant. I don't want to ruin the surprise, but 2 of my lines are "I'm waiting" and "I'm still waiting" which really come naturally to me as a teacher. But other parts of my performance would be harder for me to relate to.

For instance...how could I play a WIFE? That's why I requested an engagement ring fit for a giantess. This was the only prop I hoped to keep from the set. And I would of course need a fresh manicure to go with. It was actually perfect timing because as much as I love babies...

...my dad might love babies more. Recently I told him that he has baby fever but he claims that it is grandbaby fever...which is apparently my responsibility? But I informed him that I have engagement ring fever.

So here's hoping for me (and my dad) that an engagement ring shows up by opening night. For the play, of course.