She was really catfished by the shelter because they told her he was a lab mix of sorts but after a few months of him not growing we had to accept the unfortunate truth. He's all terrier. And that is why he terrorizes my life.
I have given him opportunities to make himself useful. He has no discernible skills. The only command he knows is sit but even that is disobeyed if he is not a fan of the surface. I suggested he get a job. But he is really not photogenic (though, who am I to talk?) so there's no way to monetize his persona on social media. See below for proof.
The main issue is that he rarely sits still for a photo. Most pictures of him are just a blur because he is too busy jumping up and down. He's like the dog in the Beggin' Strips commercial. Except there's no bacon. And he's begging for attention.
Not gonna lie, that's something I can get on board with but there's really only room for one attention seeker in this apartment. And that's me. So I have attempted to sell him on Facebook but that got me banned from Facebook marketplace because apparently that is illegal. I am no longer asking for money, he is free to a good home. Well, free to any home really. Entertaining all offers.
Here are some of his, let's say, quirks.
- once Emily parks the car he launches himself at the window whether it is open or closed
- pees when scared
- barks at delivery guys
- refuses to eat vegetables (kinda proud of that one)
- his preferred position is pressing as much of his surface area onto you as possible, if the two of you morphed into one being he would be fine with that
- good at sharing toys
- has grown accustomed to the lap of luxury and expects monthly bark boxes
- frequently chokes on water, food and air
- VERY licky. very.
- enjoys mingling and a good meet and greet
- refuses to accessorize
- does not enjoy when humans exercise
- loves eating french fries but needs his ranch, a dog of taste
- terrified of vacuums and trashcans
- zero spatial reasoning or regard for if your body is already occupying a space he is going to take the shortest path and I can't blame him because he doesn't have a Fitbit
- pretty oblivious to anything that is not a dog or human
- loves coconut oil
- will wear clothes for short periods of time
- big fan of digging in the sand at the beach
- will enter lakes with plenty of coaxing but once in water will also stand on your head to avoid going under so...excellent survival instincts
- he is always interested in whatever is being done in the kitchen even when it's not food
Last and certainly not least annoying, every single time Emily comes home he acts as if he was worried that she had left forever and he was going to have to sublet the place. If she is gone for a day or gone for a second it is the same production. Jumping and licking and licking and jumping.
Emily, you can stop reading now.
Okay now that it's just us, I will admit that he is pretty good as far as dogs go. In my experience, dogs can go one of two ways. Either they are super into everything and chew up your stuff or they just want attention and for you to hold them at all times. Mako is definitely the latter and since I don't have to do the holding, he's alright by me.
^Mako after reading this post "seriously Wachel, why are you so obsessed with me?"
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