Call Me Becky Cause I Got Wheels

If you don't understand the title reference please Google it immediately. 

It's been nearly 3 weeks since I owned a functioning car and wow. Time does not fly when you got no wheels. As I continue to wait for MY car to be ready, I am driving a loaner from the dealership. A Corolla.

Here's what they won't tell you about Toyota Corollas...they're not Chevy Cruzes. Not even close.

This freaking car y'all. Not only is it not a Cruze, or even a Chevrolet for that matter, but for the first 4 days I drove it I thought it was without the basic necessities of all post-Flintstone vehicles.

No cruise control. No digital speedometer. No gas gauge. And worst of all...no Apple Car Play. How do people drive like this?

Now. 2 days before I finally got rid of this whip for good, I discovered that there was a gas gauge on the dash but it was VERY covert.

Like, how was I to know? Living life without knowing how much gas I had left was a minor issue. It was worse that I couldn't tell how fast I was going without busting out a freaking protractor. Honestly how did any speeding tickets stick in court before digital speedometers? If I was a judge and a driver told me they could have sworn they were going 37 and not 78 I would probably dismiss and bring in the dancing lobsters.

About 300 miles into our relationship, I located the cruise control, hiding behind the steering wheel like a coward.

Put it. On. The. Wheel. Who has the motor skills to fiddle with this guy? 

Another grievance - the Corolla'a climate control system used degrees Fahrenheit and not the traditional blue to red semicircle. What am I supposed to do with that? I don't know how many degrees I want I'm not a doctor! 

But the worst thing about this car was that it didn't beep when you locked it with the key fob. So I'm just supposed to hit lock and then take your word for it? I have trust issues, that doesn't work for me.

As a direct result of this lack of sound assurance, I lost the dang car for a good 40 minutes once. It was in a parking deck...somewhere. But I didn't know where. Or which deck. And once I got to the deck I couldn't even play marco polo with it!

Now I will say, I eventually did discover that I had been in the wrong parking deck the whole time so that part is mostly on me. But I still need a car to polo when I marco, as a matter of principle.

So I am very thankful that today I became a 3 time Chevy Cruze owner. Third time's a charm?