Today I want to share two stories of social justice debates in the classroom. One is from the perspective of me as a student and the other is from when I was the teacher and they both show that kids say the darnedest things.
Picture it. The year is 2014...I think. I'm taking a course called, okay actually I don't remember what it was called but it was to meet a Gen Ed requirement. I wanna say it had "ethics" somewhere in the course name. Ethics of Philosophy and Feminism in the Western Civilization Post-WWII? Who's to say?
The class was basically about social justice and philosophy. I mainly remember John Rawls's veil of ignorance and that my teacher didn't like being called Mrs. Whateverhernamewas because that was what people called her mother in law. LOL. She's also the first person I heard explain that when fathers are caring for their children alone it's not called babysitting, it's parenting. She was pretty great and I feel like 90% sure her name was Amanda.
Anyways. One day we got into the discussion of working parents - specifically who should stay at home with a sick child? We all confirmed that when we were younger it was normally our mothers who would stay home from work to care for us. Is that because our mothers were so worried about our health? I can see why some might think this because to the average passerby, Missy appeared to be very concerned with the status of my bladder. But I can assure you that when my mother asked me "do you want to go to the bathroom?" it was NOT because she wanted to prevent UTIs but rather because she wanted to prevent UBIs - unacceptable behavior incidents.
We debated the usual considerations. Which parent makes more money? Can anyone work from home? Was one job more important than the other? Like maybe if dad misses work at Lowe's, Jim and Stacy won't get their backsplash installed today but if mom misses work at Seattle Grace then Karen's gonna experience the wonders of uterine prolapse.
Another suggestion was that the parents take turns but if it were that simple the divorce rate wouldn't be higher than the number of states where you CAN'T marry your first cousin. It's 24. Only 24 states prohibit marriage between first cousins. Check your heart America.
I thought it was worthwhile to consider who has an easier time taking off. My mother was a teacher and for her missing work required calls to potential substitutes, rapidly improvised lesson plans, allergy lists, duty coverage, human sacrifice, and a debt of gratitude to whichever coworker agreed to check in a few times to ensure that everyone was breathing and no one had peed their pants.
After some back and forth and a few heated exchanges, a student raised his hand and suggested that everyone do what his parents had done when he was younger. This student who shall remain nameless (because I don't remember his name) had previously made a contribution to our sexism discussion in regards to Halloween costumes. He explained that when he was little he wanted to be Simba for Halloween but they were all sold out so his mother got him the Nala costume. His intonation when sharing this anecdote implied that he believed his mother to be a feminist icon right up there with RBG and Gloria Steinem for her quick-thinking and immunity to disapproving looks from Southerners.
After what henceforth became known as the Nala Resolution, we were all listening with rapt attention, waiting for this kid to solve yet another first world crisis of the 21st century. And he said...in a completely serious, not at all joking manner, that when he was younger if he was sick neither of his parents stayed home with him, they just left him with his nanny. This was his suggestion. And thus marital power imbalances, societal sexism and the struggles of traditional gender roles were solved forever. At least for people with nannies.
Now the next story takes place in my own classroom. Many years ago, after administration realized that a girl who spends more money on yarn than groceries (and that is spends as in present tense) had no business teaching Personal Finance, I began teaching Career Management. Career Management involved a unit on child development and now that I think about it I really do not know why. But I taught it. And we discussed the whole who-will-stay-home-with-a-sick-child conundrum. You know, in case my students didn't have nannies someday.
A lot of my female students were saying it should not always fall on the mother to care for a sick kid, most of the male students think whoever makes the most money needs to go to work. I present a few different factors for consideration, like the nature of the jobs, the ease of arranging time off, the ability to deal with vomit without vomiting yourself.
After some discussion, most of the students seem to agree that it should be a case-by-case basis and mothers shouldn't feel like it is solely their job to see to sick children but I have one student who insists that she be the one to stay home with her hypothetically ill offspring.
I throw out a variety of theoretical circumstances. Let's say the father is a car salesman who already surpassed his monthly quota. Or an accountant who can easily work remotely. Maybe he's an executive who can miss work whenever he pleases and delegate his responsibilities to an underling. She is still saying she would need to stay home with the sick child. So I give up and ask why she is so unwilling to have the father stay home instead. And she says..."because I don't wanna go to work."
I mean. She has a point.
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