The First Annual Bridesmaid Games

There are two basic types of girls out there. The girls who, from the first time they watch Cinderella, spend more time fantasizing about their weddings than their future husbands, and the girls who lie about it. Personally, I have had my July 4th America-themed wedding pretty much planned for years. From the exact brand of red hot dogs to the flowers, I have every detail planned out. Except for the groom of course, a minor detail that always seems to slip through the cracks. Considering I constantly speak on behalf of all white girls, let me just say that the hardest part of wedding planning for girls is picking bridesmaids. And I say this with more than the imaginary authority that I granted myself when I started this blog.

I am always hearing from my friends who are engaged how difficult it is to decide who gets to be a bridesmaid, and for those of us who don't have sisters, who is the maid of honor? In reality these friends probably mention briefly in passing that it's tough narrowing down your friend group to a reasonable number of bridesmaids. But what I hear is "Planning a wedding is such a hassle, especially trying to pick 5 bridesmaids from my gazillion friends! Really, I'm jealous of you. You're so lucky that no one will ever love you enough to propose."

A few days ago, one of my friends came up with a brilliant way to get rid of all the hassle in selecting bridesmaids. We were discussing the whole wedding scene when, regarding bridesmaids, she says "you're just gonna have to..." I anticipate the end of this sentence and think she's going to say "to set a limit" like any reasonable future bride would do. Imagine my surprise and delight when she actually says "you're just gonna have to have a contest."

And thus the bridesmaid games were born! Think of them as the friendship Olympics, a Jeopardy-like trivia game that will reward my friends who actually pay attention when I'm talking about myself.

I've been brainstorming categories and questions because I need to be prepared to choose my bridesmaids at any moment. If I've learned anything from Disney princess movies it's that you can meet your guy, fall in love and get engaged all in the span of one evening.

So far some of the categories and answers are as followed:

Quotes and Expressions I Overuse

•  dude, hella, sorry, or no worries
• "why is the bus late? cause the bus is a caterpillar and it threw up"
• "put it down Bella we musn't touch what isn't ours"
• "I love myself and I hate myself"
• "books are people too"
• literally anything else from Kittens Inspired by Kittens or Boys Will Be Girls

Describe the Only 4 Outfits I Ever Really Wear

• black quarter sleeve shirt with neon pink shorts
• XL dance marathon t shirt with orange norts
• hunter green XXXL long t shirt worn as a dress with brown belt and wedges
• VS hoodie with yoga pants

My Favorite Things Other Than America

• bread
• the color yellow
• Law and Order: SVU
• Mindy Kaling, Julia Roberts and George W. Bush (in no particular order)
• books
• my globe

Things I Hate More Than When People Sit In My Seat

• slow walkers
• sororities, Lilly Pulitzer, Jack Rogers, and the like
• when cookies get baked too long
• wearing pants

My Greatest Fears

•  my iPhone breaking, again
• the world running out of goat cheese
• losing my memory
• Grey's Anatomy being cancelled

Just think of this post as a study guide and start taking notes, the First Annual Bridesmaid Games are approaching. And may the odds be ever in your favor.