1. She's adorable. I wear black separates. Missy wears outfits. She always looks put together and never looks like she's running late even though she always is. We were always late to choir practice but her point was since she's the piano player they can't start without her. She's not late for church, church is early for her.
2. She indulges me by taking selfies with me. Even if I'm wearing black lipstick, which she hates because of the whole satanic panic deal.
3. She has already offered to watch my kids (I am assuming for free) assuming someone chooses to procreate with me.
4. She shares her coupons and store card discounts. And more often than not she forgets to tell me what I owe her so I just move on with my life.
5. My mom has always been very sure of herself. She can perfectly reconcile religion and science and is actually very open-minded.
6. Missy knows her worth. When she first started dating my dad she told him straight up if you drink or smoke or do drugs I am not about that life. Meanwhile I have dated multiple unemployed alcoholics.
7. She gives me decent dating advice. And lets me freeload a little.
8. She lets me say 2 curse words. I am allowed to say hell and jackass because they are both in the Bible. And I guess if God can say it so can I? So now I just replace all other curse words with those. And she probably really helling regrets it.
9. She says I will always be her little girl. And that's enough for me to forgive her for this nonconsensual mullet. And the years of bangs that followed.
10. She's a master of self-control. Sometimes she says she wants to lose weight but I'm like girl...your body is snatched. You look like an after picture.
11. Missy has started (s)mothering Happy and it's really cute. No one in my family is really a dog person, but my mom does a lot for our dogs like getting Lizzie a kiddie pool and making Happy a sweater. It's pretty precious.
12. She's full of surprises. When I least expect it, Missy will take me shopping and pay for my stuff. Or once she paid for us to get pedicures and for me to get a manicure. And I know for a fact she thinks that is wasteful. But she did it for me.
13. She bought the book The Strong-Willed Child when I was little. Real recognize real.
14. She looks so young without spending a ton of money on anti-aging products or even makeup. One time a couple starting coming to our church when I was in college and assumed I was her step-daughter because she seemed too young to have a daughter that old.
15. Missy will make me chocolate chip cookies with no chocolate chips sometimes because she knows they are my favorite.
16. She's the best pizza crust stretcher in the world. I don't know about you rich people but we grew up with add water pizza crust and you have to carefully use Crisco and patience to stretch it out. It's an art.
17. When I was little instead of just telling me what to wear she let me pick between 2 outfits everyday. I think that was really cool of her. She has given up on that now and Colby is free range. He favors a strong monochromatic look. Red shirt? Red shorts? Read my mind!
18. She will help a sis out. In this pic, my mother strategically places her wrist over my upper arm which I HATE so I will be happy with the picture.
19. I have to thank her for The Missy Chronicles. We all should.
20. She lets me follow her around Kohl's. It's just how I shop. I'm a follower. I realize this is annoying.
21. She styled me in some pretty sick outfits when I was little. TINA KNOWLES COULD NEVER.
22. She's a good sport. Growing up my dad taught me and my brothers to pull for anyone but Carolina, which happens to be my mom's team. But Missy will gladly go to any NC State game and pull for the wolfpack.
23. My mom used to spend hours with me in Aeropostale searching for the right combination of coupons and discounts so I could be cool in middle school. Nailed it.
24. And as you can probably tell, even though I wasn't allowed to wear makeup until high school, I did amass a collection of almost every lipgloss known to man.
25. Missy is a real trooper. She broke her leg shortly after my brother was born and was stuck at home all summer with a 5 year old and a 6-month old. And one working leg. I'm surprised we weren't left at the fire station. Mainly because I did stuff like this.
26. I'm glad that since I was her first child she took a ton of pictures of me so I can relive the phase when I tried to shave off my widow's peak and had stubble on my forehead.
27. She keeps all of our artwork. My brothers and I are very different. Colby considers himself the singer of the family (eye roll) and Patrick is really good at tracing NBA players while I do more abstract work. But my mom displays it all in the house like it has a cohesive theme and wasn’t made in 20 minutes for a freshman art class.
28. She's a strong independent female. Missy never rushes me to find someone. She got married at 18 but I'm almost 26 and she's like go have fun, don't worry about boys.
29. She's funny without trying to be.
30. Mom is the only one besides me who seems to know how to turn off a light. My dad and brothers think the world would stop if the garage or pantry light was off. We need to work on object permanence with them.
31. She gets so excited about snow. I think it's more about a snow day than the actual snow but it's pretty fun to watch.
32. My mom actually lives her faith and taught me to give God my first fruits. So far that fruit is the Okinawan bitter melon but we're working on it.
33. When I was little I liked to pretend to cook while she was cooking so she got me a play kitchen. And later when I progressed to writing stories she read them or listened to me read them to her even though I am sure they sucked. And a lot of them were songs with complex rhyming schemes such as now & wow or me & the.
34. She has good taste in TV. The Middle. Law and Order SVU. ER. Monsters Inside Me. We can send my dad upstairs to watch baseball (in his sleep apparently) and binge some NCIS.
35. She is really impossible to shock. I tell her I got a new piercing? She says cute. I tell her I made a C? She says good now you know it's not the end of the world. I tell her I'm dating a 37 year old? She says good. I text her one of the non-Missy approved curse words? She does this.
36. She paid for my braces and has finally given up on telling me to smile with teeth in pictures.
37. I think that is partially because I inherited her dental issues. But she always bought our school pictures, even when they looked like this.
38. I love that like me, my mom still loves young adult books. Maybe it’s because she teaches fifth grade. My mom and Kelsey and I have an unofficial book club.
39. Her addiction is funny. We stan a queen who wants what she wants. And Missy started with Diet Sunkist because she wanted to pick a drink she had never had so she wouldn't feel like the diet version was less than. Kind of genius.
40. She is very maternal. She always prays for me and checks up on me...even when she has no idea what she's talking about.
41. She understands the importance of good shoes. We both love Crocs and she gets that it is worth it to spend money on a comfy pair of shoes.
42. Her classroom has a ton of The Baby-Sitters Club books. I read and re-read them multiple times over the years. To this day I can’t explain how magnets work but I can give you a detailed list of why Claudia Kishi is jealous of her sister Janine.
43. Missy plays the long game. I used to beg for a happy meal on the way home since we passed so many fast food options but Missy invented the "we got food at home" movement and saved herself a lot of money. It's not for me but she does it well.
44. She remembers my friends. But in her mind my only friends are Brendan and Jean-Luc.
45. My mom made me the coolest birthday cakes when I was little. One had a naked Barbie sticking out of it. It was installation art!
46. She's an innovator. Ever heard of Hibachi pancakes? That's when your mom sits at the dinner table and continues to flip pancakes with the griddle right on the table because why not?
47. My mom is really responsible. She never sent forms in late or left me with no money in my lunch account or anything like that. She did leave Patrick at school once and Colby at church but I don’t think that was carelessness I think it was intentional.
48. She lets me use Snapchat filters on her because even though she needs #nofilter, I do.
49. She's strong. Every time I have moved she does just as much (if not more) work than my dad. Definitely more than me.
50. I wrote a poem.
M is for how much you MEAN to me.
O is for the ONLY mom I see.
M is very very very, extra, MEGA scary
When I ask for more money.
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