Wednesday, May 15, 2019

Ride, Review, Subscribe

A few weeks ago I was in Orlando at Universal Studios. While Disney World is the happiest place on earth (because that's where I was back in 2011 when I learned Osama bin Laden had been killed), I prefer Universal. The main reason? A LOT LESS WALKING! In Disney you have to walk (and buy park hopper passes) all over the place just to get to a ride. In Universal, you walk in and BAM the best ride is right there. Well, slightly to the left there.


Not to mention the fact that the Orlando parks are WAY better than the California ones. But DisneySea in Tokyo is pretty dope.


I have a few years of experience with Universal, (I have been 3 times in the past 4 years, #humblebrag) so today I am breaking down my top tips and select ride reviews. You're welcome.

Universal Studios

Revenge of the Mummy
My favorite ride of all time. I never get bored waiting because I could talk about Egyptian mythology for HOURS.

Pretty good wheelchair service though extra tricky to navigate once inside because just like my future it is very dark. One time they let us in the express lane BUT I think that’s only because they know that leaving the ride you will have to keep the wheelchair from barreling down a series of ramps. I took out a lot of ankles leaving this ride. RIP.



Hollywood Rip Ride Rockit
The worst of the worst. Like the best ride, but the least wheelchair-friendly. Several rides at Universal have strict no anything allowed policies, like sunglasses, backpacks, fanny packs and even earrings. The first time we rode this, they insisted we get lockers for our assorted backpacks instead of just leaving them in the wheelchair. That is preposterous. You might want to hop in the single rider line for this one.


Islands of Adventure

Incredible Hulk
This ride is terrible. This is the no earrings ride. The only thing this would be good for is it you think you have a concussion but tests are inconclusive so you decide to just go ahead and be positive you're concussed before you see another doctor. This ride is so rough.

Dudley Do-Right's Ripsaw Falls
The line is a series of ramps. Requires a great deal of strength and knowing how to use wheelchair breaks. This ride is really not worth the wait. The Jurassic Park River Adventure is much more bang for your buck. The big drop you see from the outside is not that thrilling. And for the record...you get SOAKED.

The Wizarding World of Harry Potter

Harry Potter and the Forbidden Journey
The wheelchair comes in clutch pretty close to the end of this line but it's an uphill battle. Literally. A lot of the line is uphill. Probably my favorite Harry Potter ride since they closed the Dragon Challenge. But I want more Quidditch. More Quidditch and less spiders/dementors. Also could not really fit my fat arms through the restraint mechanism so that was uncomfortable.

Hogwarts Express
The big advantage here is that THEY will deal with the wheelchair, you just have to get your person on and off the train. There was always kind of a waiting line for the elevator you need to use due to a ton of strollers. My only suggestion for this ride is adding an actual snack trolley on the train. They DO have a small snack shop in the line. Genius.

Harry Potter and the Escape from Gringotts
Is Harry Potter even in this ride? Bellatrix is the real star of the show. The wheelchair didn't really help us or hurt us here. Fantastic ride. We need more death eater rides, am I right?

Shrek 4-D
The Shrek theater seats a lot of people at once so the wheelchair gets you to roughly the front of the big crowd before everyone walks in to grab seats. So nothing majorly helpful but this is always a pretty quick process anyway. The rice krispy treats in the Shrek gift shop looked amazing. I didn't buy one because I couldn't find a price so unfortunately I cannot confirm this.

Universal CityWalk

Cinemark at Universal CityWalk
Pretty accessible except for the first floor restrooms that are being renovated. So we had to take an elevator to the restrooms. Coca-Cola Freestyle machines AND tons of ICEE options. Alleged new fancy reclining seats. Not in the theater I was in! That was a let down. But $5 movies on Tuesdays, can't beat that!

Hard Rock Cafe Orlando at Universal CityWalk
Since we had a wheelchair we were seated downstairs. Not super exciting. BUT. I feel like I must explain this picture.


For privacy reasons I covered up everyone else's faces with emojis and I realize that takes away from the full effect but trust me, everyone else is smiling.


Let me paint you a little picture. It's 9:00 PM. At night. I'm hangry. We are waiting for a table at Hard Rock. Our name finally gets called but before we get seated, a guy with a camera directs us to stand in front of a green screen so he can take our picture. But he doesn't just take our picture. He starts positioning us like this is the freaking Sears Photo Center. I literally said "I am not smiling I'm annoyed" and this is what happened. I have no regrets.

Money Savers

  • 2 words. Kids' meals. Just ask. 9 times out of 10 you can order a kids' meal, save money and then not feel guilty if you want an overpriced snack.
  • Souvenir cups. BUT! Only worth it if you like a variety of drinks. Or at least Coke. Pretty much every food retailer will have the Coke basics. But Coca-Cola Freestyle machines aren't as ubiquitous. And many kiosks have random ICEE flavors as well so it's not like you can get blue raspberry, cherry or Coke whenever you want. 
  • Bring a water bottle! You can bring unopened water bottles into the park with you. You can bring several! Because everything is overpriced in a theme park and I HATE paying for water. Period.
  • Get souvenirs at local drug stores or convenience stores. Instead of getting a Hedwig stuffed animal at Universal for twenty dollars I got a beanie baby white owl in my hotel for eight bucks.

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