1. Every time Patrick goes to the Walmart in Dunn he makes someone take a picture of him on this Pumbaa ride. The first time he saw it he asked for a refund of his 50 cents because instead of playing Hakuna Matata it plays It's a Small World for some God-forsaken reason.
2. My mom describes me and my brothers as the opposite of the characters in The Wizard of Oz. Like we have what they lacked. Colby is the lion because he's the bravest. I am the scarecrow because I'm the smartest. And Patrick is the tin man because he's the kindest. I guess I have to agree with that sentiment.
3. When Patrick was little instead of saying "get the picture?" like the sassy third Olsen triplet, he would say "take a picture" and it irritated me in the 90s but it's kind of adorable to think about now.
4. One time my brother got a new squat max in weight lifting and then had a basketball game that night. He tried to shoot a three pointer and missed the basket by a good two feet and my dad yelled "AIRBALL!"
5. Kool-Aid jammin is Patrick's idea of hurricane prep.
6. At the beach we play a lot of cards and Patrick is always down to cheat with me and one time we were cheating so blatantly that my grandma didn't speak to me for the rest of the night and I texted my grandpa and asked why grandma hated me and he said IDK.
7. A long, long time ago, my mom left me and Patrick with a babysitter who kind of sucked. It was my dad. And he got real tired of us tattling on each other and said the next person to tattle would get a spanking and be sent to bed. So instead of tattling I kept asking my dad when mom would be home. He finally got sick of that and demanded to know why I kept asking. So after making him promise I wouldn't get in trouble, I informed him that Patrick had been coloring on the wall for like 10 minutes. We BOTH got spanked and sent to bed. This is why I have trust issues.
8. Patrick asked for his picture to be posted on r/roastme and someone said that he looked like a gentrified version of Predator which is perfect because Patrick loves that word even though he doesn't know what it means.
9. Back when Patrick was still in high school and Kelsey wasn't at UNCG, we used to all hang out a lot and go to Sanford because what were we gonna do in Goldston? Literally every time we had to decide what to eat Kelsey wanted Cook Out, I wanted McDonald's and Patrick wanted Bojangles'. So we usually went to all 3. Naturally.
10. The last time I heard Patrick speak at his church he said that when he was little he used to keep a record of all the spankings he got and I looked at my mom and said "you're going to jail."
11. One year we made a big family Christmas list and then made copies for everyone. Patrick added diet pills to my wish list and then my grandma and aunts tried to have an intervention with me.
12. Patrick loves going to the movies because he's related to my Aunt Julia and Memaw and because he's still at that age where you have disposable income. He went to see Avengers Infinity War with some friends and one guy hated sitting next to him because Patrick chewed his popcorn too loud. When the same group went to see Avengers Endgame, that guy ended up sitting next to Patrick again so Patrick got a milkshake instead of popcorn. And in the middle of the movie Patrick spilled his milkshake all over the guy's lap.
13. When Patrick was in kindergarten he got in trouble because a girl in his class brought in mouse ears for show and tell and the teacher asked everyone "doesn't she look just like Minnie Mouse?" and Patrick raised his hand and said "no, she does not look like Minnie Mouse." He's always been a savage.
14. Through the years we have really bonded over making fun of and/or threatening Colby.
15. Patrick & I (and to a lesser extent, Colby) love Austin Mahone and really want to get matching sibling tattoos that say Mahomies but Colby refuses because he's lame.
16. In high school English class Patrick was learning about Shakespeare and his teacher asked if they knew any movies that were based on a Shakespearean play like 10 Things I Hate About You or She's the Man and Patrick said Gnomeo & Juliet.
17. One time I went to hear Patrick preach and afterwards I told him that I liked this quote he used and when I repeated it to him he said "Rachel, that's a Bible verse."
18. When I asked if he had any good material for this blogpost this is what I got.
19. I don't get to see Patrick as much since he went to college and one night I was spending the night at my parents' house and didn't know that Patrick was coming home too. When he came in I said "SLEEPOVER!" because I was really excited. Later Patrick said "we're about to watch the new X-Men movie" and I said "who's we?" and he said "um, the we that said 'SLEEPOVER'"and it was really funny.
20. Patrick is obsessed with the NBA and often buys XL youth jerseys because they're so much cheaper. And good for him for still fitting into those. But once he bought a women's jersey because it was a lot cheaper than the men's version and it was super obvious that it was for women, like cap sleeves and fitted waistline and it was great.
21. Along with bonding over making fun of Colby we also bond over loving Colby.
22. My grandpa was a truck driver and would normally have some sort of fast food packaging with him when he came home at night. So Patrick thought that he worked at Bojangles'. Not the dumbest thing he's ever thought.
Happy Birthday Patrick!
No comments:
Post a Comment