Real Housewives of ???

It was recently announced at BravoCon that a new city was joining the Real Housewives franchise. 2020 will give us an in-depth look at the social scene of Salt Lake City. Many fans were confused at the location choice but if this is going to feature Mormon mommy bloggers I am all for it. Imagine all the trips and shopping and lunch dates we will see when the housewives aren't burdened with childcare. How much free time would you have if you could hand your kids off to a sister wife?

Now if it's just ladies skiing...I imagine it going downhill (LOL) fast. So I have come up with a list of suggestions for new cities that I think would be a ton of fun. Andrew Joseph Cohen - if you're reading this - call me. I'm happy to pitch any of these.


Picture it. Everyone is trying to get their big break into showbiz. Watch as 5 to 7 white women juggle vocal lessons, dance class and probably plastic surgery. It's Mozart in the Ozarks in this musical city. Someone's husband is an acrobat, but watch what happens when he's caught contorting with another woman! Who will have tearful breakdown in line for zip lining?

Best Tagline: I'm a triple threat. I sing, I dance and I shop!


How many pairs of Hunter rain boots does a housewife need? Only one way to find out...filming in Portland! Gossip over cold brew, Voodoo Doughnut catered parties and some soccer guest stars? Instead of designer shopping sprees watch as the ladies scour local thrift stores for Doc Martens and mason jars. When one of the women starts using honey again, the other vegans shame her to shreds.

Best Tagline: All Oregon Trails lead to me!


Just imagine all the debauchery that would go on as the girls hit up NASCAR races together. Who will be left out of the group trip to Disney World? Who will have a fling with a spring breaker boy toy after her husband cheats? One thing’s for sure. You can count on plenty of white women, white sand and white lies.

Best Tagline: I left my checkered past behind for checkered flags!


Think of all the casseroles. And the cheese. And the dairy drama when someone’s kid doesn’t get into the best Catholic school in Wiscansin (not a typo) on a 4H scholarship. I watched Kyle cater formal events with Fatburger for years I think I’ve earned some Culver’s screen time. Faith, family, football and fake teeth.

Best Tagline: I'm not cheesy, but my cooking is!



And it's only drag queens. I'm tuning in. Apparently Provincetown, Massachusetts hosts some of the best drag queens every summer. Provincetown has open town meetings like Gilmore Girls and is located at the tip of Cape Cod, giving me some Berzerkshires vibes. Just imagine housewives bidding against each other for unique pieces from Provincetown’s vibrant art scene. This season, the library is open.

Best Tagline: Of all the housewives, I’m the LGBTCutest.


I know what you're thinking, another hipster housewives? But no. RHOA2 will feature pageant moms. Universal Royalty headquarters hosts a ton of pageant moms annually. Shopping for glamorous girly gowns together turns ugly when you all want the last pink cupcake dress. The new housewife refuses to go glitz, fan favorite is pregnant again but...it's another boy! Save the drama for your pageant mama.

Best Tagline: I won't let anyone judge me, but my kids are fair game.


This is an obvious choice, right? Bachelorette parties every weekend, album releases, bar crawls and some drunken bike rides by the Cumberland River. You though the Predators’ hockey fights were brutal? Wait until you see a housewife get called a wannabe Reba. The claws and the insults are coming out.

Best Tagline: These boots were made for walkin’...not trash talkin’.