It is officially the peak of finals week so I'm running on lots of sugar and caffeine. My chief concern is not that I will fail all my exams but that I actually won't remember how to sleep after this week is over. The only good thing about finals is that it means Christmas season is well underway now, and I for one could not be happier. At this point in my career as honorary Captain Christmas, I have sampled just about every Christmas album known to elf kind and I can confidently say that this playlist includes only the best for your Christmas CD. If you don't have a Christmas CD, shame on you!
All I Want For Christmas is You
Mariah Carey
Because Mariah Carey is like the queen of Christmas and this album (that she wrote) broke so many records it's insane. She wrote this song that we all attempt to sing knowing good and well only angels can hit those high notes. All I want for Christmas is to be Mariah Carey.
Baby It's Cold Outside
Zooey Deschanel & Leon Redbone
Zooey is an idol among white girls and this song was forever solidified as a Christmas classic in Elf. You really must know at least some of the lyrics. Plus, the scene in the movie is totally the same as the shower scene in Pitch Perfect. Just let that sink in.
God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen
Glee Cast
The Glee Christmas album is probably one of the best things to ever happen to me and I couldn't have cared less about this song until hearing the Glee girls' version. Santana, Mercedes, Rachel and even Quinn make this song. You will forever sing this stylized version and get weird looks in church, but it's more than worth it.
Cold December Night
Michael Buble
Michael Buble's Christmas album has impacted my life in a very positive way. Not very well-known but this songs gets major props for being something you can sing all throughout December (Ha! As if I don't sing any Christmas song I want from September through January.) I mean he just wants someone to fall in love with him. I volunteer as tribute!
Where Are You Christmas
Faith Hill
In all honesty, I hate this song but recognize it as an important addition to this list due to it's connection to How the Grinch Stole Christmas, Faith Hill, Cindy Lou Who, and all things white girl. I also find it useful to belt the title around exam time because seriously. Seriously.
O Holy Night
Martina McBride
O Holy Night is basically the standard favorite Christmas song, which is not at all undeserved. Martina is of course fabulous and I think it's safe to say that country artists generally just do traditional Christmas hymns better. I don't know what it is but Santa just smiles on Nashville.
Sleigh Ride
Hilary Duff
Lizzie McGuire is every white girl's spirit animal and Sleigh Ride is just so fun! I have a theory that this song inspired What Does the Fox Say (ring ting tingling any bells?)
My Only Wish (This Year)
Britney Spears
It's Britney Grinch. Because nothing says white girl quite like Britney. And this song is great at capturing that holiday spirit of "everyone is in love but me and I'm pretty freakin tired of it" that we all know and loathe.
Christmas (Baby Please Come Home)
Mariah Carey
If anyone deserves to be on this album twice it's Mimi. And I think it's clear that Baby Please Come Home is a must for any holiday playlist. If you haven't belted the line "baby please come home!" at someone important to you on at least a dozen occasions, you should probably reevaluate your life at this point. I can wait.
Last Christmas
Taylor Swift
Us white girls unanimously elected Taylor Swift our fearless (see what I did there?) leader ages ago, so naturally her cover of this Christmas classic made the list. Most people I know either love it or hate it (they hate it), but this song is here to stay, unlike Taylor's boyfriends.
I Don't Wanna Spend One More Christmas Without You
'N Sync
Because what is the one thing 90s white girls loved more than Britney? Justin! Fun fact, this broke the world record for longest song title. But seriously, I constantly find myself singing "I don't wanna light a fire" before I remind myself that this is actually a Christmas song and therefore inappropriate to sing at a synagogue in June. It only happened twice but my bad.
Little Drummer Boy
Josh Groban
Josh is receiving honorable mention because while there are few artists today more "white girl" than Mr. Groban, I think I speak for everyone when I say I will not soon forgive him for not recognizing the perfection that is Emma Stone in Crazy Stupid Love. Am I right?
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