A Very White Girl Christmas

Just consider this your holiday handbook for making Christmas 2014 your most White Girl Yuletide yet. Below are the most basic things about Christmas, please use this to make the white girls in your life happy this holiday season.

Food
Christmas cookies.
White girls love Christmas cookies because of the photo potential. Sugar cookies are super simple to make, you can even purchase them already stamped into Christmas shapes. Then you can decorate your cookies with icing and sprinkles and take a picture with it. Or a selfie with it! Christmas cookies are a great way to sneak a selfie onto someone's timeline. They make really cute pictures and show how creative you want everyone to think you are.

Ornament
Anything with glitter and a monogram.
Because obviously. If you want to make DIY ornaments as Christmas gifts, just remember the 3 rules of glitter.
1. When it comes to glitter, more is more.
2. Glitter is a neutral, it goes with everything.
3. Glitter is the herpes of craft supplies, there is no getting rid of it.

Candy
Peppermint bark.
White girls love this stuff. I prefer candy cane Hershey's kisses myself, but for some reason, December 1st every white girl goes to buy peppermint bark. I do not recommend DIYing this, it would involve hours of real life candy crush.

Gift Given
Cologne.
White girls love to give their boyfriends cologne. Or their husbands. Or their crushes. Or the guy they sat next to in Spanish first semester freshman year and have loved ever since. The best part about this gift is that the giver is also an indirect receiver. If your guy is always wearing Axe and you hate it because you're actually not in middle school, you can hook him up with some Drakkar.

Gift Received
The new iPhone. A warm infinity scarf. Yoga leggings. A statement necklace.
We're really not hard to shop for. You've been on Tumblr, you know what we like. A little Starbucks gift card will go a long way.

Socks
Rudolph. White girls love Rudolph socks.
I think Christmas socks are an important part of every day below 50 degrees. But I do feel a little extra special wearing them in December. And the rest of the world is finally catching up to this. My Christmas socks feature trees, lights, reindeer, Santas, elves, presents, candy canes. It seems white girls prefer Christmas socks with just Rudolph. If you have any information on this, please contact me. I'm a self-appointed expert on Christmas socks considering I've been wearing them year-round for a decade. Dress Barn's Christmas socks are my absolute favorites. Bonus points for Christmas socks with jingle bells.

Movie
Elf.
Everyone should love this movie, but I think white girls have a particular affinity for Elf because the way Buddy acts is the way we act at Christmastime. That childlike enthusiasm and unharnessed excitement for everything about the season. Christmas brings out the Will Ferrell in all of us.

Song
Last Christmas.
Ultimate white girl Christmas song. Taylor's version, the Glee version, I'm sure several other white girls have covered this song as well. I don't really connect to this song because the only people I see every Christmas are my family members so I'm not pining after any of them, but I still love to shout the chorus while baking gingerbread cookies.

Decoration
Tinsel.
Because tinsel combines 2 white girl faves, glitter and fringe. Tinsel is also a fashion accessory, white girls flock to "ugly" Christmas sweater parties wrapped in tinsel. I don't understand these parties thought because I don't find Christmas sweaters ugly, I think they're awesome. I wear my Christmas sweaters and sweater vests all December. And not just to parties. To class, to Wal-Mart, to church, to the mall.

Sweater
Christmas cats.
Apparently white girls love cats now? That's a new thing (thanks T. Swift). I have seen numerous Christmas sweaters this year featuring felines in festive Christmas attire. I have no use for such sweaters and will be sticking to my XXL sweater featuring a tree with ornaments that light up. Yes. My sweater connects to a battery pack and lights up. Merry Christmas.