I watch bad TV. Like really bad TV. There are several shows I follow religiously that no one else has ever heard of. I have reason to believe I am the literal only viewer for every show on Style Network. Basically if there's a series on a family with more than a few wives or more than a dozen kids, I gotta watch it. I've recently grown frustrated with the lack of programming for people like me. I'm sure when normal people sit down to watch TV and see nothing but Little Women: LA and Extreme Cheapskates they groan and put in a DVD or pull up Netflix. But I'm getting tired of reality shows that aren't quite weird enough. To me, the following is a list of ways to make already good series even better. To you, this probably reads as how to make bad TV even worse. Don't worry, none of the major networks have gotten back to me.
Celebrity Ex-Wife Swap
I like Wife Swap. I like Celebrity Wife Swap. I would LOVE Celebrity Ex-Wife Swap. Instead of D-list celebrities from the 1980s, this show would feature current celebs trading homes with their former lovers. Tell me you wouldn't tune in to watch Rihanna trade places with Chris Brown's next girlfriend. Or to see the Kim K lookalike girlfriend of Kris Humphries go play house with Kanye and North for a few weeks. This show would be epic.
Bachelor Catfish
So this title is pretty self-explanatory. To the participants, it's just another season of The Bachelor or The Bachelorette. Actually, the bachelor would assume the identity of someone else during the show, hiding their true profession, family, and interests to pose as the true bachelor, revealed at the finale. They spent all season falling in love with the true bachelor when they thought he was someone else. At the finale the winning contestant has to decide if they can accept the true bachelor.
Jon & Kate Plus 8 Minus Jon
Very similar to Kate Plus 8 that's in season now, but every time Kate has a particularly stressful time with the kids, the screen switches to a clip of Jon being a jerk. Kate is raising 8 kids alone. Jon is dating 18 year olds. Kate packs 40 lunches a week. Jon wears Ed Hardy. Kate hasn't had a day alone in a decade. Jon parties with strippers. It's all about perspective.
Sister Wives and Brother Husbands
A series all about siblings who marry siblings. I've seen it happen and I think it's adorable. That's really it, that's the whole premise. I'd watch it.
The Real House Maids of New Jersey
Instead of featuring housewives, this series would follow the maids of the families made famous in the Real Housewives series. Instead of arguing with each other and doing rich people activities, the maids would give cameramen exclusives of the medicine cabinets and bank statements. It would be like a behind-the-scenes expose, and probably result in a spin-off following the real housewives in prison for insider trading and fraud.
Undercover Professor
Like the show Undercover Boss, but the professor goes undercover while a teaching assistant takes over the class for a few weeks. The professors listens and really connects with students. Students tell stories of academic scholarships to maintain, part-time jobs to work, spring breaks to pay for. The professors learn to be more chill and calm down on assigned reading. This would be a beautiful and touching show that would always change professors for the better. I tear up a little just thinking about it.
Say No to the H8RS
A combination of Say Yes to the Dress and Bridezillas. This series would follow brides doing whatever they want and refusing to listen to friends and family members with strong opinions. There's nothing I hate more than seeing a bride crying because her mom hates the wedding dress she wants. This show would be all about brides telling everyone to shut up because if it's not your wedding day, no one cares what you think, want or can or can't afford. The catchphrase would be "when I want your opinion, I'll give it to you."
Mom Code
Like Girl Code but with just moms talking about mom things. Together they will all be honest about the questionable parenting practices they use. The I Can't segment would be full of quotes like "When your kids call you at work to come sign a permission slip at school. I can't." and #IsThatWeird would feature soundbites of "Sometimes I run out of dish soap and just use bar soap instead. #IsThatWeird?"
Promzillas
I might be the only person who would watch this, but I would watch every single episode like 3 times. It would focus on high schools around the country as prom approaches. There would be so much drama, between dates and dresses, limos and restaurants, prom queen and prom themes. For someone who misses My Super Sweet 16 as much as I do, this show is the next great hope.
Preacher's Wives
A tamer Preacher's Daughters, this show would feature the wives of preachers, a seriously under-appreciated community. The preacher's wives would get together every Sunday night for supper and talk about the day's events. Whose sermon was best, whose attendance was down, who needs to schedule another baptism. Sometimes members would switch churches, or churches would schedule their Easter egg hunts for the same time, or order the same new hymn books. Drama! For the season finale they would all go on a cruise together.
Teen Mom Moms
Follows the mothers of the stars of Teen Mom and Teen Mom 2 because many of them were instrumental in the upbringing of their grandchildren. I don't know how any teen parents could do it without the support of their parents, and this series would demonstrate that. There's a possibility that no one will be open to starring in this show other than Babs Evans, Jenelle's mom. I'm totally fine with that.
No comments:
Post a Comment