Underwear and Nervous

If you follow this blog or have ever watched television with me or overheard me talking obnoxiously loud in a public place, then you know I am OBSESSED with Discovery Channel's Naked and Afraid. I love that show and I watch it every time I go to my parents' house to visit their DVR, I mean my family. Naturally I enjoy discussing this show extensively with friends, family members and strangers unlucky enough to wander within earshot. A few weeks ago my cousin (only by marriage) Justin pointed out that he would be much more into a slightly easier show called Underwear and Nervous but I would like to take it a step further and be on Fully Clothed and Indoors.

Part of my obsession involves thinking of this show as the Hunger Games as if I could be chosen at any time and I have to be ready to go at a moment's notice. Not in the sense that I am physically fit and knowledgeable on survival methods but in the sense that I have so many ideas for what my one survival tool would be. I know this sounds like one woman's obsession but trust me, this is fun for the whole family. My cousin (also by marriage, years ago our grandpa married our grandma) Kelsey and I have our lists (in no particular order) and rationales ready to go. Feel free to comment if you have any necessary survival tools we forgot!


"I brought my phone charger. Obviously."

"I brought the Hamilton soundtrack. Don't worry - original Broadway cast recording."

"I brought some T.J. Maxx coupons because they're going to expire while we're out here so...only if we see one, we don't have to make a special trip. "

"I chose Sun-In! I love what it does for my hair and we're going to be in the sun a lot so I'm super excited to see the results!"

"I brought toilet paper. 2 ply."

"They wouldn't let me bring my phone but they allowed an iPod touch. I just HAVE to Snapchat this."

"I brought Lion King but I only had it on VHS so fingers crossed you brought a VCR player."

"I brought my new bathing suit. I assume there will be some water sources and this is strapless so it's really good for avoiding pesky tan lines and it was just too cute to leave at home!"

"I had to bring my nail file. If one of my nails breaks you do not want to be around me I will just be useless and whiny. Not that different from how I am now, actually."

"I brought Beyonce's light-up selfie phone case so I can light myself for the close-ups. It should really make things easier on the camera crew."

"I brought my Sweet Frog yogurt punch card. I already had 9 so the next one is free! Don't worry I'll totally share. I was thinking blueberry yogurt with rainbow sprinkles but I'm also open to Oreo or M&Ms."

"I decided to bring my Yeti rambler. I like my water to be really cold. Don't worry it's monogrammed so I won't get it confused with yours if you brought one too."

"I brought my eyebrow pencil because without it my brows just won't be very expressive and the viewers at home won't know what I'm feeling."

"I brought my Bath & Body Works eucalyptus spearmint candle. It's aromatherapy."

"I chose to bring my contour kit. It's really important for sculpting my face and playing up my cheek bones and we can even use it for like...camouflage."
 
"I brought some Bojangles seasoning. Every night can be Cajun night!"

"I brought my sound soother machine from Sharper Image so we can fall asleep peacefully. I normally go with surf or fireside but we can wait and play it by ear. Get it? Hello?"

"I could not leave home without...my hair tie. Obvi a necessity."

"I brought my Olay moisturizer because it's really important to keep your skin hydrated."

"I brought a razor."

"I chose to bring my Polaroid camera so we can take some cute, artsy landscape pics. These will get a ton of Instagram likes, trust me."

"I brought this Post-it note with my Netflix username and password written on it. I tried memorizing them but decided to bring this for backup. In case we get bored."

"I have my favorite Kylie lip kit for us to use. Matte lipstick in Exposed. Don't worry, it's a good nude, very versatile, I'm sure it will work for your skin tone too."

"I brought biotin, I'm getting over a really bad haircut so I need to take one every day so my hair will grow."

"I brought my nail polish with me in case I get any chips. It's OPI Cozu-melted in the sun I thought maybe production would take the hint and send us to Mexico."

"My survival item is this taser. We can use it to stun animals or I will use it on you if needed. Don't test me."

"I have the latest People magazine. As I'm sure you know Taylor and Tom just started dating so I need all the deets. If this isn't a survival tool, I don't know what is. Hey...where are you going?"