It's 2016 and at this point almost everyone has had the displeasure of taking an Uber. But not all rides are created equal. Ever heard of surge pricing? This week's post is about 3 rides in particular that stand out in my nightmares and flashbacks.
The Uber That Almost Wasn't
Our journey begins in downtown Raleigh. Parking is a nightmare so instead of dealing with all that we're Ubering. Big mistake. We're cold, we're tired, everyone's feet hurt but mine because I'm wearing Crocs. We order and cancel like 5 Ubers that never come. There are taxis courting us and another Uber pulled over in front of us. Can we just take that Uber? Or will someone else be charged for that? If that's the case, do we even care? How does any of this electronic money even work?!
For awhile we remain committed to waiting for our most recently ordered Uber. Now I don't know how Uber works but I think they give whatever driver you match with your location. I'm terrible with directions AND a terrible driver and even I don't think following a GPS is that hard.
Eventually, fed up with our would-be driver, we try to convince the driver who has pulled over to drive us. What a feat that was. He said he could only drive 4 people and we had 5. Why do I have so many friends? We ask if he would consider giving us a ride if one of us is really small. We force Lauren over to the passenger door so our driver can see just how small she is. I shout to him that she was a preemie, thinking that would help. (I have no idea how close to the due date she was or wasn't born.) He finally relents and lets us pile into his car, and what a car it was.
So this Uber is a Lincoln with all the bells and whistles. I don't know anything about cars but I'm pretty sure Ubers don't normally have heated back seats. The whole ride he is trying to ensure that he gets app credit for this ride but that doesn't seem to be working and we would really rather he focus on the road. He gives up at some point and starts making comments about how we're getting this ride for free despite our repeated assurances that we will pay him cash. The total fare? $13. That would BARELY cover a meal at Arby's for most people (named Rachel). Calm down dude. We ended up giving him $23 and probably a migraine.
The Uber on Empty
This adventure began when we tried to leave an NC State tailgate. We didn't have a parking pass so we made our good friend Aubrey pick us up. But then our friends had tickets to the game so we were on our own. First we waited for surge pricing to go down as all the like-minded party people made their way home. When we could finally afford to Uber the 5 miles home, we waited for what felt like an hour but was probably actually closer to 10 minutes. Nothing. So we call and after several minutes of directing him to us and us watching his little car icon get further and further away, our driver informs us that he has to get gas. We are full of tailgate food (Halloween cookies, pizza dip and pigs in a blanket). We are exhausted (we had been tailgating since 10:00 AM). We are HOT (it was over 80 degrees, I got a little sunburn). We have to pee (I drank 3 bottles of water. Thanks Aubrey). Poor Caroline worked until 4:00 AM the night before so she just lays down in the grass and either naps or resigns to death. When the Uber FINALLY arrives, we all fall asleep on the way home. Literally all of us. Asleep. That was very stupid. Poor decision making. One of the dumbest things I've ever done and I once let a homeless man escort me to an ATM across the street to get him cash. We could have been kidnapped (technically at our age it's abduction and not kidnapping but diction is everything). But we woke up, made it home safely, and lived to take another Uber.
The Uber Where We Gossip
This one really takes the cake not because of the Uber experience but because of the events leading up to the ride.
Picture it. Mid-June. Downtown Raleigh. The 1975 concert. We arrived at the venue packed into a Prius. Caroline literally rode in the trunk. We stopped outside Red Hat Amphitheater and I opened the trunk so she could crawl out. Almost everyone else at the concert was a girl on the wrong side of puberty with her mom at worst, cool aunt at best. After the concert Caroline and I got separated from our other friends when fans stopped me for an autograph (or something like that, I can't remember all the details). They were going to the bathroom so we head over to the toilets to wait. While sitting on a bench outside the restrooms, a security guard asks us if we're waiting on someone. We respond that yes, we are waiting on friends in the bathroom and as soon as he leaves another security guard asks us the same thing. We tell him that despite appearances, we do not want to spend our Friday night sitting outside a public restroom. When our friends finally exit the bathroom, we're asking them what they want to do next while we start making our way out of the venue. Yet another security guard approaches us and literally says "Come on girls, you can gossip in the car."
I'm not one to get offended, or assume sexism or give law enforcement officers a hard time but...seriously? We can gossip in the car? We weren't gossiping at all, we were trying to be responsible adults and make a plan. We didn't tell him that he could play fantasy football and wear cargo shorts in the car.
And now for the Uber. After ordering an Uber, waiting for said Uber and meeting it on the corner, the Uber driver says she can't drive more than 4 people. We have exactly 5. Of course. Because that's how my life works. So we get an Uber XL but by the time it arrives one of our friends has left. We could have taken the cheaper, smaller Uber after all but it's too late now so we hop in. During our ride we discuss art, politics and current events and don't even have time to gossip.
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