Wednesday, July 5, 2017

Snitches Get Nations

Listen, my children, and you shall hear
Of the midnight ride of Paul Revere,
Way back in the day before fidget spinners
A patriot named Paul hopped on a horse after dinner.

He told his pal all about his plan
To keep those red coats from taking this land. 
He said if you see the British, hang up a light 
And I will get everyone ready to fight. 
We made it to America but we're not yet in the end zone,
It's time we show old man England the friend zone.

His friend searched the streets, listening closely
Just hearing rodents and insects mostly
Until at last, he heard muffled steps and shouts 
Of British soldiers ready to pounce. 
He ran to the church to set the lantern aflame
So Paul would grab his horse and the reins.

Through the dark Paul saw a glow,
Borrowed a horse and was ready to go. 
As he rode, midnight rang out from the clocks
And he hurried to beat the British at the docks. 
Telling colonists the Regulars were here on the sands
And that King George was finally going to catch these hands.

The British fired shots and had several misses
As American farmers gave them the business.
They turned to go home, fast as their feet would allow.
What's so great about Britain now?

This is where the famous poem stops
But luckily for us, America did not.
We've made our mistakes like Grease 2 and sieging Waco, Texas
And Chick-fil-A still not serving all day breakfast.
But ever since our historic birth
We have been the greatest nation on earth.

Sea to shining sea, from all around the world people come,
Immigrants . . . they get the job done.
America strives for greatness constantly,
We put a man on the moon, we perfected democracy.
For our freedom and privilege, many men and women had to die
Remember that today and every 4th of July.


Special thanks to Henry Wadsworth Longfellow. My boi.

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