Don't tell her I said this but she is occasionally known to give good advice. NOT like when she gave me bangs for most of my elementary school career.
But like when she helped me deodorize my garbage disposal.
And I know she believes in me...probably to a fault. She got me a microphone for my 24th birthday and I promptly used it to sing her some of ABBA's greatest hits. I am, however, suspicious of those quotations she put over the word star. I think I'm a STAR! not a "star!" but it was a nice gesture nonetheless.
Here are the highlights from the most recent talk I received after I told my mother that a guy offered to fly me to Europe.
1. Don't owe a man anything.
Okay, I'm listening, good point. I don't want to owe the government anything either but no one will volunteer to pay my student loans. I tried explaining to my mother that I wouldn't be beholden to anyone for anything because the gift of my friendship is certainly worth a round-trip plane ticket to Europe. She, seemingly, disagreed.
2. Your goal in life is not to find a man.
Right on sister. I'm with you. But...one of my goals in life is to be a mother and society has really not made as much progress in the field of asexual reproduction as one would hope. So finding a man is still a goal if not the goal. I also want to publish a book, start a petition to rid the internet of those Buzzfeed listicles that force you off app to read a tweet, invent a drive-through slash gas station combo and, coincidentally, go to Europe.
3. Some parts of Star Wars could really happen.
So she got a little off track here...but I suppose she's right. I forgot which parts of Star Wars she was referring to so I had to ask her to repeat.
She filled me in and said she meant the overall themes of good vs. evil and never giving up. Then she quoted Revelation which I think is a bit of a reach but I'll allow it.
Her solution to my desire to go to Europe on someone else's dime was to offer me a trip with her to Busch Gardens. I'm not even worthy of Epcot. So instead of being flown to Europe to spend a week touring the Mediterranean, my mother invited me and a friend to ride 2 hours with her to a Virginia amusement park that offers $8 bratwursts and made-in-China souvenir berets. And I haven't even mentioned my mother's unique take on amusement park dining. It involves completely exiting the park to go tailgate in the parking lot with bologna sandwiches from a cooler in the trunk. A complete waste of time, energy and perfectly good fried food right inside the park.
So it's not my dream trip.
But it is my dream company.
No comments:
Post a Comment