Wednesday, May 30, 2018

A Freudian Trip

So my therapist is moving.

I see her for (among other things) abandonment issues.

You can chuckle, it's okay.

The good news is that I will likely be able to continue to see her at a new location. She explained to me that she has a contract with her current office that forbids her from taking patients without good reason. Luckily, since this is my mental healthcare provider and not my hair dresser, she is allowed to make a case for taking me with her. Essentially...she has to explain to her boss that I am just the right level of insane and it is imperative that I be allowed to remain under her care yet out of the hospital. I offered to provide all of the evidence needed but she politely declined. Here's my interpretation - my therapist can put a franchise tag on me that says no other therapist can draft me. I'm like the Kirk Cousins of therapy, AKA...a pretty big deal.

Finding a new therapist is not easy. You have to find someone who takes your insurance, and when it comes to psychiatry you're lucky to find one who will file insurance at all. You might want to find someone who specializes in your age group, gender or mental health issue. You need to find someone who you mesh well with. For me, that means they have to be a girl. Because I just feel more comfortable with women, they can relate to certain situations I have to deal with better and what I'm not saying is that women are just better than men in almost every way.

I've never had a male therapist but based on past experiences I imagine that sessions would sound something like this...

Me: "Well I'm really stressed out at work because I have a lot on my plate..."
Mr. Therapist: *interrupts* "My job is harder."
Me: "It's not that it's too hard, I just don't have time..."
Mr. Therapist: *interrupts* "Let me explain to you how time works..."

And this should be a given but you really want a therapist who is well-versed in current psychological doctrines. I saw a therapist in Chapel Hill once (emphasis on once) who had the DSM-III proudly displayed in her office. The current edition of The Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders is the DSM-5, so that would be like me teaching marketing based on how successful newspaper ads are. She also basically told me I was crazy. Um duhhh...that's why I'm here. Fix me! Her office was practically black and white, I swear. In an interesting twist of events I left the country and stopped returning her phone calls. It did feel good to be on the other side of unrequited attention for once.

I say all of this because I am so happy with my therapist now. I make her laugh, she makes me cry, we have a good thing going. I'm not sure if we're best friends yet but I would definitely ask her to be a bridesmaid in my imaginary wedding. I'd even let her pick her own bridesmaids dress because we're working on being flexible and delegating. My therapist (not gonna share her name because go find your own...if you want my ex's number sure, just leave my therapist alone), if you're reading this...click on ads! (And I love you.)

May is mental health awareness month. I have shared some of my mental health journey (as they say on The Bachelor) and therapy experiences mainly to help myself (¯\_(ツ)_/¯) but some people have reached out and let me know that it helped them too. So if you want to comment on this or share it or use it to open a dialogue about mental health with someone important to you or pass it along to a friend who's in publishing, go for it!

Love others.
Love yourself.
Love Jason Momoa.

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