Wednesday, August 1, 2018

Mamma Mia

First things first - we need to discuss Mamma Mia! Here We Go Again

WARNING! SPOILERS! I'M NOT YELLING I'M SINGING!


I saw it in theaters Friday and again on Monday. I am still. not. done. ugly crying. The first tears came during previews. If you aren't moved by this Welcome to Marwen trailer, you're definitely not a Rosie. After that I managed to keep it together until Meryl was on screen. But I was a mess during Super Trouper. A sobbing mess.

Okay...I saw approximately 3 millions tweets about how awesome MMHWGA was and NONE of y'all cared to take one Swedish second to tell me that Donna was dead? That is fake. I was not prepared for that in the first 2 minutes of a sequel I have waited a decade for.

I saw the movie with my cousin Kelsey since we have been obsessed with Mamma Mia! for...ever. We saw it at DPAC on my birthday last year, my first HitClip was Dancing Queen and I wore flare jeans like nobody's business back in the '90s. Partially because they really were hand-me-downs from when that was the style but also because I have always been pure disco.

Thanks to Hamilton I have managed to get my youngest brother interested in musicals so he came with us to see MMHWGA and it wasn't even begrudgingly.

Some of you might think that seeing this twice in theaters within 72 hours is a bit much...and you're wrong.

While fangirling over the best musical I have seen this summer (sorry Wicked), I discovered that there is a prominemt ABBA cover band called Bjorn Again. And I promptly died. Now I'm a ghost. Ghost blogger.

Now, slightly less importantly, as many of you probably don't know because I am great at secret-keeping, my cousin Brittany is with child. A child that she refuses to name Bjorn because she loves ruining my life. 

And she's annoyingly skinny so she didn't really show until like the middle of the 2nd trimester. I was seriously afraid that when people heard that my aunt's niece was pregnant someone was going to say "You know, I thought Rachel looked pregnant." I offered some of my everyday clothes for Brittany to wear as maternity clothes

Since the news went public, a big part of my time has been occupied cyberbullying my family members. Like the soon-to-be grandmother, my Aunt Julia, because her entire immediate family's handwriting is atrocious.

I also couldn't pass up this opportunity when my aunt shared this image on Facebook to announce the news to her followers.

Once everyone who bothers to check Facebook knew, we moved on to thinking about gender reveals. My idea was simple.
1. The sonographer tells you the gender.
2. Call me.
3. Tell me the gender.
4. I literally don't care what happens after this.

Kelsey came across the BRILLIANT idea online to do a zodiac reveal party which I think would be so fun (especially if the baby was going to be a capricorn and we could release a live goat to run through the party) but the due date is on the cusp so I wouldn't want to miscalculate the baby's zodiac sign, that is going to be a real nail biter. An avocado reveal would have been equally amazing.

And of course, as aunts, Kelsey and I have offered to go above and beyond to care for this child. The child she won't name Benny. Or Agnetha, though I admit that was a reach.

Even selflessly volunteering to care for one of the babies if Brittany had twins. The 3 of us grew up together and we're really close. I'm '70s disco (duh), Kelsey is '80s pop and Brittany is '90s rock. We used to get matching Christmas presents from our grandparents every year - purses, socks, wallets and eventually tasers. I got blue, Kelsey got pink and Brittany got purple. Except the tasers...those are all black.

We also considered moving so we can all raise the baby together, it's like Brittany is Donna Sheridan and Kelsey and I are both Tanya. 

We're still looking for our Kalokairi.

But I think we're most helpful when it comes to name suggestions. Like when Brittany and her mom were really feeling Declan. And as a loyal Degrassi fan, I agreed. My aim was true. 

Or when I suggested naming the baby after a musical's leading man. Or the founder of scientology.

Since Brittany vetoed names from Broadway, Kelsey suggested we go more mainstream and name him after our favorite song.

Honestly Kelsey and I have had a TON of wonderful name suggestions.


Brittany is a tough crowd though and nothing really stuck. Until...


I'm so glad that's settled. A good Hebrew name. And a good Gungan name. Although I hear my Uncle Jeff, the baby's grandfather has been speaking to it exclusively in an English accent because he wants the baby to be born British. So maybe they'll actually name him Elton John.

Kelsey and I will probably sing I've Been Waiting For You at the baby shower. Complete with dance moves and bell bottoms. We will probably also sing Waterloo because we almost always do at family gatherings.

So we're currently in search of a Chick-fil-A located INSIDE a Six Flags to just kind of camp out at until the baby comes if anyone wants to help. I am not above going full Where the Heart Is with this baby for freebies. But I would really prefer a Target birth to Walmart.

Congratulations Brittany and Justin. I can't wait to steal this, and every subsequent baby.

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