Mazel Tov!

This is a post to recap some of what I saw and experienced in Israel. It is named after the time I could have sworn that a woman leaving the hospital said mazel tov to us. I cheerfully gave her a mazel tov right back and while I was still saying it I realized there was no way that she said mazel tov. She probably said evev tov, lilah tov, or any number of other greetings involving the word tov that aren't mazel tov. Now she probably thinks I'm some obnoxious American who's like "I can speak Spanish! Hola!" and I am obnoxious and I am American so maybe she's right.

This is a banner of Obama. With dreads. Not sure what this is about but I think their heart is in the right place.

If you look closely you can see that this bag reads "acrylic mink blanket" and my question is...is that what minks look like? That thing looks like a tiger with achondroplasia. It's terrifying. Are Israeli minks different from American minks? I'm too afraid to research it.

ORIGINS stands for Our Resolve Is Giving Israel Never-ending Support but I think a renaming is in order based on our first two days of cleaning at the hospital.

Israel is crazy about Mentos. I feel like the U.S. should follow their lead here. We let the Mentos craze die too soon. Let's bring them back.

There were so many pizza options in Israel. Specifically a lot of Papa John's. Or in Hebrew - Abba John's.

I still don't know what this is. Can you rent cowgirls in Israel? There aren't even that many cows. What they really need is catgirls. Israel is lousy with cats. The complete opposite of America if you've seen An American Tail.

The Middle East is really into rose as a flavor for things other than potpourri and after trying this rosewater custard thing I am very unclear as to why. Jamie liked this shampoo flavored monstrosity so I had to tell her to stay away from my cucumber melon body wash.

I am a natural at camel riding. This is how it's done. Take notes.

This signage demonstrated things not allowed at Capernaum. As Phil translated for us, no dogs, no smoking, no guns, no women, no men.

This is ALMOST the perfect picture until you see what is happening with my mouth. Which brings me to my next point...what IS happening with my mouth?

A lot of people loved the coffee in Israel. They have iced coffee that's not just ice and coffee. It's like an Icee, similar to a frappuccino but different? I guess? I don't drink coffee in America but the Israeli iced coffee (which I have lovingly named StarofDavidbucks) was pretty good. And they had a chocolate version that's like a chocolate milk Icee. Let's arrange a free trade deal where we import those bad boys in exchange for some ice or elevators.

This is a recycling bin on Masada and Phil pointed out that what a lot of people don't know is that Herod was really passionate about the environment. You won't find that in your history books.

Here we have a practice CPR dummy that I discovered in a classroom we were cleaning. I only saw 2 legs sticking out from under a table and I was sure that it was a dead body. Our supervisor found that hilarious. Okay, everyone found it hilarious but me.

Y'all there were so many stairs. Turns out historical sites are really not handicap friendly. I have decided that if I become rich I am going to make Israel more wheelchair accessible. And cable cars. A lot more cable cars.

Now I know why they say the Dead Sea is a once in a lifetime experience because NEVER AGAIN. This was the temperature. 108. The water was in no way refreshing. I felt kind of like that proverbial frog being boiled alive very slowly. And despite not shaving for 3 days prior which was torturous in and of itself, I still managed to accumulate plenty of little cuts and scrapes for the salt to infiltrate. Floating was cool and all but at what cost? At what cost?

Israel had some pretty amazing t-shirts.

In this picture from Jerusalem, an Orthodox or Hasidic male is playing  Billy Jean on an electric guitar. I hear he can trace his roots all the way back to the tribe of Dan...ce.

Here we are in a cistern. We went into a lot of old water cisterns. Mainly for the shade but the acoustics weren't bad either. Here's the thing about these guys...once you walk down into them, you have to climb back out. Tragic.

Here are some videos Brad made about some of our big excursions. If you would rather get all the deets from me live and in person, contact me about catching up over a non-kosher meal.