Dunkaroos, along with corduroy overalls and being told we had food at home, were a staple of my childhood. They remind me of being dropped off at my granny's house while my mom goes in for a teacher workday and Granny tells my cousin Sam to watch me and sends us both outside with a spoon full of JIF so we can play Mother May I? while she watches her westerns. Anybody else?
So far Betty Crocker has only released the vanilla cookies in vanilla sprinkle frosting but I am holding out hope for my personal favorite - chocolate frosting and grahams.
Today I am going to reflect on some of the other iconic snacks of the 90s that kept me entertained long before I had internet access or Disney channel. If anyone with power in the prepackaged carbs industry is reading this, I am pretty sure that the continued existence of Cheese Nips proves that having me as a loyal customer is enough to keep a product profitable.
Sweet Escapes
My parents kept these in the highest cabinet in our kitchen hoping that I wasn't dumb enough to climb on top of the stove and risk head trauma from the ceiling fan to get to them. They were sorely disappointed. I feel like these may have disappeared due to unsustainable packaging costs. These were sold in pouches like the picture, but also each wafer was individually wrapped inside. Look, it was the 90s, we had a big carbon footprint to fill. Let's rework the wrapping and bring it back!
Cheesecake Bars
These. Were. So. Rich. My grandpa always kept these at his house because my mom wouldn't get them for me. So I blame her for their disappearance. They had other flavors but I'm a classic kind of girl. My roommate remembers these but said she never got to try them because her mom would let her pick out two snacks each week at the grocer store. No matter how hard little Emily tried to save a snack for the freezer aisle, week after week she would always get distracted from her mission and use up her allotment on cheese balls and chocolates and chips before they got to the frozen foods. Moms. Ruining dreams since '93.
Flintstones Push Ups
Speaking of the freezer aisle...one knows why these sherbet treats were marketed by people with no access to refrigeration technology but it worked. Sure there are other push ups but they're just not the same. The Flintstones push ups hit different. Maybe the success of these push ups inspired the Flintstones vitamins. I often see those vitamins brought up in conversations on nosh-talgia and I do not get it those things were nasty. They tasted like chalk and also threatened to crack a tooth with every bite. I hated them so much that once I decided to try to dissolve it in a glass of water and just drink that. It was worse. A lot worse.
Lightsaber Spoons
Okay this isn't technically a snack but before y'all's parents let some of y'all choke on a toy prize from a cereal box, each bowl of Cocoa Krispies was a chance to win. I would promise my mom that I was going to eat whatever cereal was hawking the toy I wanted most. Unfortunately for me she caught on quick and started denying 5-year-old Rachel's requests for Raisin Bran and Fiber Os.
Reese's Swoops
Mannnnn these were the BOMB! And this was during my middle school years so I had a little more agency when it came to the family's groceries. By this point in time, the Daniel family schedule was ramping up. I had sports, my brother had...something going on, probably, and my youngest sibling was just born. That meant Mom was busy and Dad started getting the groceries on his way home from work. It was such a blessing because while my mom would pick through our request list like a FAFSA officer ready to veto anything she deemed non-essential to life, refusing to buy a replacement for a box of cereal if there was so much as a single oat left in the box, my dad didn't play that. He was not interested in approaching grocery shopping as a critical thinking exercise. If it was on the list, it was getting purchased. I swear. At 12 years old I could have written denture cream on the list and that man would have gotten it for me. God bless him. So my middle school lunches were full of Swoops. Honestly, it's a wonder I wasn't more popular.
Hershey's Bites
Okay, I am starting to realize that most of these snacks are chocolate. I clearly have a type. Hershey's Bites were the so good. I specifically remember the cookies-n-cream and the Reese's. What? Peanut butter is my primary source of protein. Sometimes if you left these bad boys out in the car they would get all melty and you would go in for a handful and realize you had white chocolate all over your hands. Those were the days.
Kudos
Cannot for the life of me figure out why these things disappeared. 100 calories? 4 weight watchers points? And they were legit marketed as granola bars even though they were essentially the love child of a Rice Krispies treat and a candy bar. After one of these, I was feeling all my Gwyneth Paltrow fantasy. Giving you fitness, serving healthy. Kudos the house down baby.
Butterfinger BB's
Okay that apostrophe doesn't need to be there. But these were so good. I have such a complicated relationship with Butterfinger. Like it is probably legit my favorite, on account of the butter, but only in certain forms. Like I'm never going to just buy a Butterfinger. But a Butterfinger Blizzard? Yes ma'am. Butterfinger eggs at Easter time? Butterfinger bells at Christmas? Yes yes. I'm just now realizing that Butterfinger Cups are gone. Really, y'all gonna double down on that Butterfinger Crisp nonsense and get rid of the real winners? Butterfinger BB's were the best of the best. Butterfinger BB's are my grandpa picking me up from school and if we didn't go to Golden Corral and eat a full meal at 3 PM, he would take me to the gas station where I could get one snack and one drink. I would get a Pepsi and Butterfinger BB's and then we would go to the park and I always offered him some BB's even though he never offered me one of his cigarettes.
Pop-Tarts Magnets
Again not a snack but they came with one of my all-time favorite snacks. While the cereals were stepping it up with light up spoons, other kid-friendly breakfast foods had to find a way to compete. Pop-Tarts answered with these Cartoon Network magnets. I don't think I ever got the Dexter one but I did have several green Johnny Bravos. Growing up me and my brothers would hide Pop-Tarts from each other because they were a hot commodity. We all went through phases with favorite flavors. Chocolate fudge has been a household staple since they're my dad's favorites. I would microwave them for 20 seconds and then dip them in Cool Whip - another signature Daniel household food item. Speaking of which...I microwave my Pop-Tarts, never toast them. There was a long-lived brown sugar cinnamon phase followed by chocolate chip cookie dough before I finally settled on hot fudge sundae. Still my favorite to this day.
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