Joyful Noise

If the television show Glee was set in a private Christian school...

• It would be called Joyful Noise, not to be confused with the Dolly Parton masterpiece of the same name.

• New Directions would be called New Creations.

• As a Messianic Jew,  Rachel Berry would still be an outcast.

• Finn drops out of school when he gets a role in an off-off-Broadway production of Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat. He plays Dan.

• The Madonna episode would become the Mandisa episode.

• Brittany would accidentally join a cult like Westboro.

• Tina would gaze longingly at the choir room because her family is Church of Christ and they don't believe in music.

• Instead of Journey Mr. Schue would pick a new Hillsong piece every week.

• The kids would aspire to be in a Sight & Sound production instead of Broadway.

• Quinn's pregnancy scandal would still be scandalous.

• After graduation Sam would go on to compete on a reality show called American No Other Idols.

• Rachel would admire Amy Grant instead of Barbra Streisand. 

• Warblers Blaine and Sebastian form a hip hop duo called Cross Cross.

• Puck would be edgy because he's become an atheist. That's why he doesn't go by his first name, Noah.

• Artie would constantly campaign for the club to sing The Days of Elijah but no one would listen to him even though that song is a certified bop.

• The kids would have to decide between a spring break trip to Broadway or a mission trip.

• They would decide to combine music and mission and go volunteer in Branson, Missouri.

• When Mercedes feels like she doesn't get enough solos at school she switches churches so she can take the lead in a new church choir.

• The club gets in trouble for selling indulgences to local public schoolers to try to raise money for Winter Jam tickets.

• The kids have a song battle when Santana wants to get a tattoo of her favorite Bible verse (Psalm 25:7) but some of the kids believe that tattoos are sinful.

• Kurt tries to be edgier by writing a rap called Have It Yahweh.