How Many Shoes Does A Girl Really Need?

Here's the thing. Us girls don't realize how many shoes we have have until we try to clean slash organize our closets. If a guy asked how many pairs of shoes I have I would say around 20. If a girl asked the same question I would say 30. If I actually counted the number would be closer to 50. It's a mental illness. If having an unreasonable amount of footwear is wrong, then I just don't wanna be right.

There is really a simple explanation as to why we buy so many shoes. We buy more shoes than clothes because we try on more shoes than clothes. It is very very hard (though not impossible) to look fat in shoes (trust me, I've done it). So naturally, on an off day, right after a meal, or if you are shopping with a skinny friend, trying on shoes levels the playing field. 

But the thing is, there are so many different shoe families, that you really can't just stop once you have a few pairs. Luckily guys are coming closer to understanding our obsession because they too want to have ridiculous amounts of shoes. So far this only applies to ridiculously expensive basketball shoes, but it's still a giant step for womankind.

I want to outline all of the shoe families so that girls know how many pairs of shoes is too many. There is no exact formula, because each of these families consists of countless colors, patterns, fabrics, and price ranges. Every girl should own at least one pair of shoes in each of the major families listed here (along with acceptable and unacceptable styles). But I can confidently say that 200 pairs of shoes would be excessive. Unless you're like a princess. Then you really can't live with less than a thousand.

Flip Flops
Yes-Sporty flip flops with squishy bottoms that feel like cushions for angel babies.
No-Anything uncomfortable is unacceptable when it comes to flip flops.

Flats
Yes-Metallics. Cute patterns. Velvet, silk, satin, suede.
No-Leather. Rubber (I know, but I've seen it done, unfortunately).

Crocs
Yes-The 3 wedges that are actually cute.
No-Any other crocs not used for work purposes.

Sandals
Yes-Metallics. Leather.
No-Jack Rogers, Chacos.

Wedges
Yes-Cork wedges.
No-Wooden block wedges, this is neither Holland nor Japan.

Espadrilles
Yes-2 words. Ribbon laces.
No-More than 1 pair of espadrilles with thin laces unless you're J-Lo. Which you're not.

Boots
Yes-Cowboy boots. Nuff said.
No-Open-toed boots. Ew.

Heels
Yes-ALMOST anything.
No-Any heels higher than 4 inches if you get off work before 3 a.m.

Sneakers
Yes-Nikes, Reebok, Puma, New Balance, Adidas.
No-Anything in denim or over $100 if you don't need them for a sports.Also, those toe shoes. Ew.