As I'm sure many of you are unaware, something very exciting happened this week. I'm talking rarer than my bank account balance being positive. Rarer than the Olympics. Rarer than Halley's Comet. Rarer than Joe Biden saying something intelligent. RARER THAN ME RUNNING.
Okay, that's enough suspense. I had a date. Whatevs. Nbd. I love him.
Anyways, the guy who asked me out hadn't texted me for months so I was surprised when he texted me and asked me out. When I told my Mother she said "I guess you playing hard to get worked?" I politely explained to her that I can't play hard to get because I am already particularly difficult to want.
That is when I realized that lots of people probably go around thinking that girls like playing hard to get, which is completely false. I mean I'm sure that there are some girls who think that what they are doing is playing hard to get, but from where I sit (alone), girls never actually do this.
I am especially concerned that there may be guys out there who think that the girls who don't like them and turn them down are just "playing hard to get." This is not true, we are playing leave me alone because I don't like you and I'm too nice. Learn the difference.
I also want to point out that this is completely different from when guys don't like me and turn me down because we all know those guys are gay.
So I figured it would be kind of me to spell out for my reader (and/or readers assuming people other than my Mother are reading this) all of the games girls are actually playing when you think we are playing hard to get. Below is a list and brief description of all the games girls are really playing.
Hard to Stomach
-When a girl is just repulsive. Sometimes this is intentional because a girl can tell you are trying to fight your way out of the friendzone. She will do whatever it takes to put you back in your place, even if that meets burping. In public. Other times this is completely accidental and a girl is just really ratchet. Bless her heart.
Hard to Want
-This is where I fit in. Girls "playing" hard to want are just ehhhhh in every category. Not completely disgusting but not necessarily appealing either. I like to think this is because I want someone to eventually love me for me, but lesbehonest. When it comes to feminine wiles I am sub-par at best. But my mommy says I'm beautiful.
Hard to Love
-This describes the girls who refuse to settle down with a guy. They want happiness and fun in a relationship, but the second things get serious, they bail. Girls with commitment issues often had fathers who left or other men who have disappointed them. Y'all really suck.
Hard Hitter Which You Will Find Out Soon Because I Hate You Never Speak to Me Again
-When girls are actually sick of you and you deserve it. This is often mistaken for a girl just trying not to seem too eager, but in reality, we cringe every time we see your name pop up on our phone. For whatever reason, we will NEVER be interested and really wish you would get it.
Hard to Read Because I'm Ridiculously Insecure
-I really don't know what to tell ya. My own insecurity confuses even me! The basic idea is that a girl won't show how interested she is because she doesn't want to be rejected. I would assume all girls are like this at some point and some girls are like this all the time. Just know, when a girl says something like "I look so gross in that picture!" you need to tell her she's wrong and compliment her immediately.
Hard Ball
-When a girl gets it in her head that if you don't do certain things or meet certain requirements, she won't date you. Only the cream of the crop can afford to use this approach obviously. These women are like the girlfriend in "You Belong With Me" and they make the rest of us sigh and say things like "he deserves so much better." Girls like this have also, on occasion, inspired me to sing "Let Me Love You" at the top of my lungs on the interstate.
Hard Headed
-To be fair, this is every girl. But some girls just always want what they can't have. Maybe a girl will like you and once you show a little interest she disappears. Scientists are currently working on a cure for this condition, commonly known as "having no Y chromosome." But don't hold your breath people, this all started when Eve decided to eat that dern apple. You can lead us to a man, but you can't make us be content with him.
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