Like everyone else lucky enough to be born in the 90s (and by lucky I mean blessed beyond belief, and by 90s I do not mean 1999, capice?) I often find myself missing the Disney shows of yore. I miss getting home from school and watching hours of television before my parents turned it to the 6:00 news, or as I like to call it, Kill Me Now. I miss watching a marathon of my favorite shows while my Dad pretends to be paying bills, but every now and then he chuckles because he still has the same sense of humor as a 13 year old girl apparently.
I think my suffering has gone on long enough. I have decided that Disney has left me with no other choice but to provide them with a line up of the shows they are going to need when they ultimately create 90s Disney, the best television channel known to mouseketeer kind. This channel will feature all of my favorite shows from the 2000s, shows that us 90s kids grew up watching.
But then I thought...why stop at Disney? Why not have all of the networks responsible for my childhood obesity start throwback channels? Hence...
90s Disney
Lizzie McGuire
My ultimate favorite, hearing the theme song brings tears to my eyes. Before she was Hillary Duff she was Lizzie, a clueless, clumsy, unpopular middle schooler existing at a time when people called it "junior high" to make it sound more glamorous.
That's So Raven
It's the future I can see (we all do it, just finish the theme song in your head and keep reading). A classic girl-boy-girl friend group, an annoying little brother, and clueless parents. The same plot line as virtually every other show from the 2000s, but it never gets old.
Even Stevens
Face it, you have a crush on Donnie. And Ren is your role model (or maybe just mine). And we all have a Beans. And let's not forget the movie, also known as my favorite part of summer 2003.
Kim Possible
Because you can never get enough Christy Carlson Romano, and Kim was the original BA. I'm convinced she was the inspiration for Katniss Everdeen and Tris Prior. A killer ringtone, naked mole rat, and cargo capris. This show makes nachos look delicious to the lactose intolerant.
Hannah Montana
Make fun all you want, this was a good show and I know that somewhere underneath that 20 year old twerkin out for help, there is a Hannah. I miss this show so much, I cried during the last episode, the movie, and every time I hear "Wherever I Go". She had it all but instead of envying her you loved her, perhaps because you know her father used to have a mullet and that is more achey breaky heartache than anyone should have to endure in one lifetime.
Recess
Where to begin? Recess was the show to end all shows. It really captured the alternate universe that is recess. There were so many subplots going on, my personal favorite was The Ashleys, who I'm convinced were the inspiration for The Plastics.
90s Nickelodeon
Rugrats
I am still amazed that I watched a show about babies for as long as I did. But at the same time, I would watch it again in a heartbeat if given the opportunity. To this day I name every lizard I encounter Reptar, and I don't think that's wrong.
Rocket Power
Such a rad show. Just 4 best friends, livin it up, skatin around, hangin 10, bein groovy, and a lot of other cliche skater slang used in this show.
The Wild Thornberrys
Let me just say that if this show was on Netflix, I would have to get back together with my ex just so I could use his Netflix account again. This show made me thankful I didn't have an older sister but also really bummed that my family didn't travel the world in a glorified RV. Eliza made me want to talk to animals too, and I don't even like animals. That is one powerful little ginger.
As Told By Ginger
Another ginger, who is actually named Ginger. I for one loved this show, but most of my friends have never heard of it. It's a lot like Awkward. (another show I LOVE). Ginger has 2 best girl friends, the gossip queen Dodie and Macie, and Asian with green hair. The interesting thing about this show is that Ginger is also friends with the popular Courtney. Like real friends.
The Angry Beavers
I'm really not sure why I loved this show so much but I'm pretty sure it had a lot to do with the fact that the main characters are named Dagget and Norbert. And of course the fabulous voice of Nick Bakay (aka Salem the cat).
Hey Arnold!
The obvious choice, everyone loves Hey Arnold! Life has thrown this poor kid some lemons (such as a football-shaped head) but it also threw him a pet pig named Abner. Let's face it, we've all been the Helga at some point, right? No? Just me then.
90s Cartoon Network
Totally Spies
Best. Show. Ever. I loved this show and I still don't understand why I can't have lipstick that is also a laser and other cool gadgets. The only flaw of this show is that it was produced by a French company.
Dexter's Laboratory
Not gonna lie, the main thing I remember about this show is the weird sound effect of Dee Dee looking over Dexter's shoulder. Dexter's weird accent that is for no apparent reason is also a nice touch. Need I remind you that he has a pet monkey who is also a secret superhero? (Perry the Platypus totally stole his thunder.)
Courage the Cowardly Dog
This show was actually terrifying. The banana people are the worst for me, but all of it is bad. I couldn't watch this show again but I know that not everyone is as freaked out by dogs who have holes in their teeth as I am. But overall, that is one messed up dog. I would never let my little brother watch this show, and he's 16 years old.
The Flintstones
I liked this show in spite of those awful vitamins that everyone else seemed to love. Those guys were disgusting, I don't care what y'all say. My favorite thing about this show is the relationship between Wilma and Betty, and I hope that one day I can have a best friend to wear tattered dresses with.
Tom and Jerry
Who doesn't love Tom and Jerry? Communists, that's who. I'm fairly certain that part of the U.S. citizenship exam is naming your favorite Tom and Jerry episode. Whether your favorite is Tom (wrong choice) or Jerry (there you go), you could probably watch this show for hours and not get bored, much like how Tom could try to kill Jerry for hours and not give up. Well played, MGM, well played.
The Snorks
They're like smurfs that live underwater. Need I say more? I used to watch this show every morning before school while I organized my Froot Loops by color (OCD starts early). They come in all different colors and use clams as currency. I'm sold.
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