Let me preface this post by explaining that I have been telling my brother to get an Instagram for like a year. He told me that Instagram was Twitter for people who can't read. He said he would never follow me and never like my posts. Look how the tides have turned.
Let me give you the stats.
Posts: 32
Stupid Posts: 30 (I was in 2 of them)
Followers: 51
Following: 83
Most Liked Pic: 6 likes on a selfie of us
Here are the top 10 reasons why my brother must be stopped. And yes, it was difficult to narrow it down to a mere 10. In no particular order:
1. The vast majority of his posts are the product of this simple equation guaranteed to result in, well, complete indifference from followers. Google image search of NBA/NFL players + some app with artsy filters. I have tried to explain to him that no one cares about the most of the pictures he wants to post and he should run them all by me first. I thought he got the message. Until...
2. Today he posted more than a dozen pictures from the museum we visited.
3. In 10 minutes.
4. All of his pictures from the museum today had a caption that ended in #1 - #10. This is mainly annoying because he forgot to number one of the museum pics and later deleted one. Someone casually scrolling through his Instagram may think at first "only 10 pictures in 10 minutes, he won't be so bad" but in reality it was 12 pictures in 10 minutes and by following him they are in for a world of hurt.
5. Like all Instagram-addicted youth in America today, he has a selfie problem.
6. I think almost worse than his selfies are the captions he gives his selfies. These captions are always a sentence or two about what he is doing or how he feels. In his defense, there is no good way caption a selfie. But "Just got home from practice. About to eat." is barely an improvement on the basic white girl random quote about life that has nothing to do with me selfie caption.
7. He has his snapchat user name in his bio. Stahp.
8. He took a selfie to set as his profile pic right as he was making his Instagram. I don't know why this bothered me so much but he should cease and desist nonetheless.
9. He won't follow UNC Dance Marathon.
10. Last but certainly not least among his offenses to the Instagram community, when he posts selfies, he gets on Instagram, goes to the camera feature and takes a selfie right then and there to upload. The arrogance! I have to take at least 10 selfies before I find one I feel comfortable enough with that I would allow another human being to see it. I get that this is more about my insecurities than his cockiness, but still. Have some respect for the photogenically challenged.
Please feel free to go follow/stalk @cpdaniel20 to see for yourselves. He is outta control. And please, tweet #StopPatrick2014 to save a life.
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