My cousin and best friend is getting married. Sigh. My current relationship status is "I'm so single it's pathetic" so I have no time for couples currently living happily ever after but congratulations or whatever I guess. Honestly, I'm super excited for them and being the great bridesmaid that I am, I have been constantly contributing time and ideas to this wedding. Even though I have had less than 9 months, I have selflessly put aside my own need to find a date to help plan the wedding. And I must say, I have done a great job. I recently came up with the wedding hashtag and I was in the middle of pitching green and gold bridesmaid jewelry to give our plum dresses a Mardi Gras theme when I realized that I have supplied a lot of outstanding suggestions for this wedding that were ill-received. Which is totally unfair because they were all really great proposals. Luckily for, well everyone, I have kept a record of all of my brilliant propositions should the bridezilla change her mind.
My Bridesmaid Dress
white
cut outs
prom dress
rhinestones
spray tan, manicure and pedicure all courtesy of the bride
a train
leopard print
tiara
veil
scandalous slit
bridesmaid portraits for moi shot on location at a beach of my choosing
Bachelorette Party
a museum of my choosing
Pizza Hut
matching tattoos
a baseball game so I can scout potential husbands
Bridal Jewelry
1 word. feathers.
anything that lights up
one of those awesome chokers from the 90s
BFF bracelets for the bride and myself
a locket with pictures of me inside
Ceremony
me singing a song of my choosing
a separate section for my guests
a personal thank you to me in the program, 350 words or more
keep the ceremony to like 5 minutes, tops
shout out to me in the vows
Reception
first dance to Grind on Me
first dance to I Hate Everything About You
my toast:
Roses are red
True love is rare
Booty booty booty
Rockin everywhere
brownie batter shots
lemon wedding cake, even though I'm the only one who likes lemon
a section where I can receive guests and well-wishers
I would like to have dibs on all leftover bread
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