Rae B Cs

There are certain phrases that are used only by myself and frankly, it's time the rest of you caught up. Learn your Rae B Cs. Some of these are made up entirely and some of them are actual sayings that just need more usage. Likewise, there are some words and terms that have connotations that differ from Webster's when used by me. Feel free to incorporate these words into your everyday lexicon but also be aware that unless you are talking to my mother or one of the other 4 people to read this post, no one is going to know what you are saying and you will get a lot of those perplexed looks I have grown so fond of.

McBath
When you eat McDonald's in the bathtub. Not wrong. Nothing to be ashamed of. All the cool kids are doing it.
EX: "Yesterday was so long I had to take a McBath to make it to dinner."

Sel-Face
That face you only make when you're taking a selfie. Don't pretend you don't have one. Mine has cost me a few friends and countless potential love interests, not to mention all semblance of dignity.
EX: "I think it's a cute picture even if I am making my sel-face."

Waste Face
To put on makeup only to discover that plans have been cancelled. To put on makeup for a social event and no one you wanted to see is there and no pictures are taken.
EX: "I thought the party would be fun but no one was there. All I did today was waste face."

BROMO
Like FOMO, but with guys. When you really don't want to go to some social event but there might be guys there so you suck it up and put on makeup anyway.
EX: "I didn't accept the evite but then I saw who was going and had major BROMO, so I went."

Face Jail
Makeup of any form.
EX: "This day got a lot less awful once I broke out of face jail. Thanks Mary Kay cleanser."

Instane
When someone you know and love is terribly annoying on social media. If there are no friends coming to mind right now...I hate to tell you...you are that instane friend.
EX: "She's one of my best friends but do you see all those hashtags?! She's gone instane."

Shondeath
The feeling when Shonda Rhimes once again kills a character who used to be the only good thing in your life.
EX: "I refuse to watch How To Get Away With Murder because I won't survive another shondeath. Henry almost broke me and I can't go through another Lexie."

Textgret
When you send a text and immediately regret it. Or me when I text anyone with a Y chromosome.
EX: "I double texted and the textgret was palpable. I just turned off my phone and walked away."

NOTP
The opposite of your one true pair. Like if your OTP is OTH's Lucas and Petyon, your NOTP is Lucas and Brooke. A couple you vehemently believe is completely and utterly wrong for each other. Like how John Stamos feels about me and him.
EX: "Craig and Ashley are my NOTP, if Ellie can't have him, no one can."

Grocery Shopping
Buying a large amount of food from a drive-through and living off of it for days.
EX: "I just went grocery shopping, the 50 nugget deal should last me at least 2, maybe 3 meals."

Responsibility 
Placing said grocery shopping food in the backseat so you don't eat it all on the 5 minute drive back home.
EX: "I can't reach the tater tots and I'm starving. Responsibility sucks."

Handtel
A marriage of social media handles and intel, handtel refers to the theory that you can tell a lot about a person by their social media names and the names of their followers.
EX: "He seemed really sincere but after some handtel I discovered all of his followers are girls with names like bay_baygurlll and it's like I don't even know him anymore."