Back to School

This week some of my former students are starting college. I think that's supposed to make me feel old but I'm still a 12 year old at heart so I'm just jealous of them. In the spirit of going back to school, I wanted to write a post about some of the most cringe-worthy moments of my collegiate career to show freshmen that college isn't so scary. No matter how many times you make a complete fool of yourself, you will survive. So read about me being completely ridiculous, realize how awesome and relatively unscathed I am now and remember that what doesn't kill you makes you funnier.

Picture it. Junior year. I have recently been appointed to the 2015 Executive Board of the Carolina For the Kids Foundation. I'm scampering around campus with that I'm-important glow, preparing for another afternoon of subchair interviews. I'm with some friends in the CFTK office when they see their friend Hunter (name has not been changed, anonymity is for punks). My crazy friends who have known me for all of a week at this point, dare me to go give him a pickup line. How did they know I would do it? Like I said, they'd known me for a full week so they knew daring me was a sure thing. I politely walk up to poor Hunter who was just trying to study, bless his heart, and ask "On a scale of 1 to America, how free are you tonight?" wait for him to respond that he isn't that free because he has a test and then walk away. Once back in the office, I promptly friend him on my newly created Facebook and then send him an engagement request. Later that day, after several well wishes from our Facebook friends, the poor kid has his subchair interview with me and my friends who put me up to all of this. So we of course decide to make it a comfortable environment for him by decorating the interview room in honor of our love.

Yeah that's a dry erase save the date for our impending nuptials. In his interview I introduced myself as his fiance and asked the follow up question "You said you had a test tomorrow so you're not free tonight. Would you consider that communist China not free or North Korea not free or what?" That initial meeting aside, I assure you we went on to become great friends. 

Pics cause it happened.

Fast forward to the start of senior year. I had finally made friends, had a foolproof path to graduation, had my own CFTK committee...it really should have been my time. So explain this.

 

You're currently looking at a picture of me using a shirt pocket as a cup holder. 

This is a triple extra large shirt that I wore (wear) as a dress.

Sassy photo courtesy of Jean-Luc.

Next we have the time I fell down in the Pit during CRW. CRW stands for committee recruitment week. All week I was supposed to convince students to sign up to join my committee and essentially hang out slash work with me. I had one job. Instead the bricks tripped me up and I ended up on the ground, in the center of campus while probably hundreds of potential committee members looked on, drawn in by my charisma.

I stayed down longer than I'm proud of. 

The good news is that I then became this meme (again thanks to Jean-Luc) that I believe is widely used to recruit new students to UNC.

Despite the above incident, I did end up with a wonderful committee! I was obsessed with all of my committee members so I planned a committee bonding retreat, baked some snacks and invited them all to my house. Here's some pics of all the fun we had that night.

 Wow! Hope I made enough food!

Me and all my friends.

I had to eat all the cookies I made by myself. That's not exactly a complaint.

I'm starting to realize most of these involve Dance Marathon in some capacity. The next picture that makes me wonder how I have friends was taken after Theme Reveal, a party where we wear costumes to announce the theme for the upcoming year. Our theme was "dare to discover" so I dressed as a scuba diver. And then I refused to change when everyone else did because being a scuba diver is cool! If you saw me on Franklin Street that night, you're welcome.

I didn't actually try to drink my Dr. Pepper with lemon through the snorkel. 

But I seriously considered it.

I saved the best for last. Sophomore year I had a root canal. It went horribly wrong. I'm going to let the pictures speak for themselves. 

**NOT FOR THE FAINT OF HEART. YOU CANNOT UNSEE THESE.**

 

You thought I was exaggerating didn't you?

 

I went to class like this. 

Not because I'm an excellent student but because I just don't care.

*I do feel it is important to mention that I was not actually embarrassed by any of these incidents. Momentarily stunned, briefly taken aback at my own ineptitude perhaps but never embarrassed. I believe it to be a wasted emotion. Kind of like all the other emotions.