Those of you who have purchased the deluxe edition of 1989 (hopefully all of you) know that Taylor Swift explains part of her song writing process in 3 additional tracks. And if T. Swift can pull it off I figure so can I. Except for red lipstick. And high waisted shorts. And expressing your emotions in a healthy, non-destructive way.
This post isn't a look into my blog writing procedure, because trust me you do not want to know what goes on up here, but I would like to say that I wrote this entire blog post from a single phrase.
"side-eye salad"
So thank you Jean-Luc, as always, for being my inspiration and the wind beneath my freak flag.
White Girl A La Carte is a white girl-inspired menu combining 2 of my loves in life, grammar and food. Bon appetit.
Side-Eye Salad
Side-eye. Noun. To peer at with disdain.
This dish is inspired by those dinners where you order a side salad as your whole meal because you're so poor. So since it's not technically on the side of anything, it's a side-eye salad, referring to the pointed glances at everyone else's food. But the good news is you don't even have to eat salad to give side-eye. I drink side-eye water plenty, trust me.
Primp & Grits
Primp. Verb. To groom oneself meticulously.
Do y'all follow any middle schoolers on Instagram because either the awkward puberty stage is a thing of the past or they could all Photoshop the pants off of me (figuratively and literally) and I've taken graphic design courses. Or perhaps the recent increase in photogenics is due to the fact that 6th graders now have access to millions of make up tutorial videos on Youtube. You know what I had in 6th grade? Parents who wouldn't let me wear make up till high school. But kids these days post selfies that get hundreds of likes, meanwhile I would pay hundreds of dollars to make all photos of middle school me disappear. Primp & grits reflect the ridiculous prep time that goes into taking those perfect selfies and the grits that I think look pre-digested but everyone else seems to love.
5-Star(bucks) Roast Duck
Starbucks. Noun. The corporation that brought you pumpkin spice lattes.
What could possibly be fancier than roast duck? Perhaps a coffee shop where for the low, low price of Daddy's money you can drink 2x the caffeine in a Coke but still eschew sodas as "so unhealthy". A place where white girls have displaced the native hipster population. And what better to follow a Sixbucks latte than a succulent roast duck? You've already perfected the duck lips after all.
Filtered Apple Fritters
Filtered. Adjective. When an image has clearly been altered to make it more likable.
Apple fritters are like donuts but somehow more healthy and rustic, think of them being served on burlap at literally every wedding you've been to in the past year. Filtered apple fritters are meticulously arranged until their presentation is considered Instagram-worthy. Just add #foodintheair and wait for the likes to start rolling in.
Hashtag Browns
Hashtag. Noun. Tbh who even knows what these guys mean?
White girls who wouldn't be caught dead eating french fries will line up for some hash browns at brunch. And the hashtag has risen quickly to become one of the most powerful characters in the universe (just behind its Twitter-kin the @ sign). You can tell everything you need to know about someone by simply asking them to identify this character (pound sign, number sign, hashtag, tic-tac-toe board) the results are very telling.
Twice Flaked Potato
Flakey. Adjective. Non-committal, liars. (See also: ex-boyfriends)
We all know it, white girls are often flakey. Cancelling plans, showing up late, telling us what we want to hear. Here's a look at what we say versus what we mean.
"We should totally do lunch sometime!" means "does she not remember that we aren't friends?"
"I'll text you!" means "be talking to you never!"
"Yeah I'm on the way." means "I just started getting dressed."
and then there's my personal favorite "Sure, I'll send you the pictures." which means "say goodbye to these photos forever, they're gone."
And similar to hash browns, baked potatoes are thought of as a much healthier alternative to fries. THERE IS NO ALTERNATIVE TO FRIES. And can I point out that to your stomach, all potatoes are mashed potatoes.
Pet Insta-Yam Casserole
Pet Insta. Noun. An Instagram account that purports to belong to an animal.
There is perhaps nothing more exclusively white girl than making an Instagram account for your pet. For some strange reason, white people seem to think that their pets need followers and likes. At some point in the near future I will dedicate an entire blog post to pet Instagrams. Additionally, white girls love to show how southern they are by making/eating/posting a photo of sweet potato casserole. And much like how I count fries with ketchup as 2 servings of vegetables, sweet potato casserole really just means candied pecans with a hint of mashed yam.
BaeGoals (Bagels)
Bae Goals. Noun. What we all aspire to.
For
reasons only half of you will get, I really never want to discuss
bagels again ever. But I recognize that white girls love their bagels,
whether you are adding cream cheese, eating bagel thins, heating up
bagel bites or sharing a bagel with the garbage for breakfast. But
thankfully bagels are a thing of my past and bae goals are a thing of
my, well never. But what's important here is to appreciate your
significant other for whatever makes them #BaeGoals. Being themselves,
having a cute laugh or, well, existing.
Wednesday, April 29, 2015
Wednesday, April 22, 2015
Rae's Anatomy
As my collegiate career is coming to a close and I'm preparing to enter the wife draft, I pulled one final all nighter last week. In the emergency room. Before you read this post I think it is important that you know I am currently typing the draft of this post in the hospital at 4:00 AM on my phone.
Still trying to be of assistance, I ordered Caroline to make a call to the Vatican and told Ginny we would be performing an exorcism instead. At this point her pain was improving but she was still not amused with me. I threw in a few "the power of Christ compels you" chants for good measure but she still seemed pretty annoyed. I guess appendicitis just does that to some people.
I was officially out of ideas so I decided to cruise Tinder for hot doctors and Caroline pulled out her laptop to do homework. And I kid you not, she asked me for the wifi password. She asked for the emergency room wifi password. Gee, I don't know try 911thisisahospital, all lowercase.
When the doctor finally came in he had to ask us to leave because Ginny was the only diva big enough to bring an entourage to the ER. Caroline and I of course obliged but once we got out of the holding area, we had no idea where to go. I suggested taking a walk, going to the food court, Starbucks. All of these were of course non-options when we remembered it was 5:00 AM. So we sat in an abandoned hallway until a nurse asked us to leave. I get that it's not "sanitary" for us to wait in a "quarantine hall" but a little more signage is all I'm asking for, that place was a maze.
Somewhere around 3 hours later we finally heard those magical words. Discharge papers. Ginny left with a diagnosis (kidney stone) and a parting gift (percocet prescription) while Caroline and I left with several questions for our ER friends, particularly the gentleman handcuffed to his hospital bed, but I reckon some things are better left unsaid.
This misadventure began when my roommate Ginny started having stomach pains. My initial diagnosis was preterm labor until Ginny told me she wasn't pregnant. 15 seasons of ER taught me to never trust the patient so I promptly told her I would need to perform an ultrasound to confirm. When she refused my medical services we headed to the Emergency Room. Thank goodness it was after 5:00 PM so we were able to park. In Chapel Hill you really need to schedule all medical crises around free parking.
After waiting in the ER for almost 2 hours and making multiple phone calls soliciting medical advice from my peers who didn't double major in the humanities (it's okay, one day they will be dying to know the name of the last Pahlavi monarch and I'll be there) we determined that there was no hope. Interestingly enough the thought of spending all night in the ER with only me to talk to made Ginny feel a little better so we went back home.
Around 3:00 AM she awoke to more pain. This time my other roommate Caroline joined us in the ER. I guess all my snapchat selfies with Ginny retching in the background made it seem like great fun. Quality lighting can do that. Please note that this was after we called to ask how long the wait was, like we were reserving a table at the Cheesecake Factory. "Hi, gastrectomy party of 3, near a window please."
After waiting in the ER for almost 2 hours and making multiple phone calls soliciting medical advice from my peers who didn't double major in the humanities (it's okay, one day they will be dying to know the name of the last Pahlavi monarch and I'll be there) we determined that there was no hope. Interestingly enough the thought of spending all night in the ER with only me to talk to made Ginny feel a little better so we went back home.
Around 3:00 AM she awoke to more pain. This time my other roommate Caroline joined us in the ER. I guess all my snapchat selfies with Ginny retching in the background made it seem like great fun. Quality lighting can do that. Please note that this was after we called to ask how long the wait was, like we were reserving a table at the Cheesecake Factory. "Hi, gastrectomy party of 3, near a window please."
So when we get to the emergency room we immediately note that the atmosphere has completely changed from earlier. Instead of having to remove all of my piercings before I go through the metal detector, the police officer just asked me if I had any guns or knives with me. I don't mean to brag, but I could have totally lied. My first thought was "Man! I could have brought snacks!" and my second thought was "This is a hospital not a basketball game, idiot!".
At this point, I've basically constructed a medical chart in my head and decided it's appendicitis. While waiting for a doctor I surveyed the supplies and informed Ginny that I would feel comfortable doing the surgery myself. I explained the procedure using only Grey's Anatomy quotes and a few made up words like abdomination and appendixise. I was writing a consent form on the back of a Taco Bell receipt I found in my purse and promoted Caroline to scrub nurse when Ginny decided she would be "more comfortable" with a "medical professional" (the " "s denote eye rolls).
Still trying to be of assistance, I ordered Caroline to make a call to the Vatican and told Ginny we would be performing an exorcism instead. At this point her pain was improving but she was still not amused with me. I threw in a few "the power of Christ compels you" chants for good measure but she still seemed pretty annoyed. I guess appendicitis just does that to some people.
I was officially out of ideas so I decided to cruise Tinder for hot doctors and Caroline pulled out her laptop to do homework. And I kid you not, she asked me for the wifi password. She asked for the emergency room wifi password. Gee, I don't know try 911thisisahospital, all lowercase.
When the doctor finally came in he had to ask us to leave because Ginny was the only diva big enough to bring an entourage to the ER. Caroline and I of course obliged but once we got out of the holding area, we had no idea where to go. I suggested taking a walk, going to the food court, Starbucks. All of these were of course non-options when we remembered it was 5:00 AM. So we sat in an abandoned hallway until a nurse asked us to leave. I get that it's not "sanitary" for us to wait in a "quarantine hall" but a little more signage is all I'm asking for, that place was a maze.
Somewhere around 3 hours later we finally heard those magical words. Discharge papers. Ginny left with a diagnosis (kidney stone) and a parting gift (percocet prescription) while Caroline and I left with several questions for our ER friends, particularly the gentleman handcuffed to his hospital bed, but I reckon some things are better left unsaid.
Wednesday, April 15, 2015
Basic Math
Today's post is about all of the math that us basic white girls need to be able to do on a daily basis. I decided to write a post about this because my good friend Brendan pointed out that most women are incapable of simple math, so I figured it was important that I share some basic calculations that you all might need to know in case you find yourself without a man to help you run the numbers. (Okay I did this for me because I have no guy to help me ever.) (Also Brendan was kidding I'm way more sexist than he will ever be.)
So here is basic math. Emphasis on BASIC.
The Numbers that Matter...
pH: Know Your Spot
What's important here isn't your actual pH value but knowing where you fall on the spectrum. If you're a basic 14, you own that 14 and you be as basic as you want, build your brand. If you're a super acidic 1, buy more black and use more sarcastic hashtags. If you're neutral at 7 enjoy the best of both worlds. Curl up on the couch in Victoria's Secrets sweats and watch the latest Indie film.
Should You Buy Those Shoes?
So I have a problem with buying shoes that I never actually wear and I know that my friends and I often struggle with how much of a sale is a good enough sale to justify buying yet another pair of shoes. Not only do we lack the funds for new shoes, but we also lack the closet space. So I've come up with a simple rule to decide whether or not to buy sale shoes. If the sale price is over 50% off you buy the shoes. If the sale price is under 50% off you still buy the shoes. Life's too short.
Group Dynamics
When you are trying to take a group picture it is important that you understand how many people you can have before you need 2 rows. Once you have more than 6 people, you need to have a back row and a front row of girls sorority squatting. If you have more than 13 people, you have to add a 3rd row. Also it's important to have an odd number at all times because we can't even.
And the Numbers that Don't...
Followers: Following Ratio
Some of you might be thinking "how many people can I follow and still be cool?" or "how many followers do I need to be cool?" and luckily for you I have the answer. Some say that you have to have more followers than you are following, others say you need over a thousand followers. I would like to say that HAVING FOLLOWERS DOESN'T MAKE YOU COOL. Being cool makes you cool. Like Winona Ryder manic pixie dream girl cool.(Before shoplifting. Stealing isn't cool.)
Also page views make you cool so share this blog with your friends.
Likes: Minutes Ratio
Perhaps it's an urban legend but I have heard of people who will delete a post if it doesn't get enough likes. So everyone who recognizes me as a verified social media expert (my brother) will ask me how many likes a post needs relative to how long it's been up. If a picture has more likes than minutes it has been posted I would say you have too much power. Too much clout/klout on social media is a dangerous thing. One day you could be struggling to get 11 likes on a bridal portrait but if you know the right people and use the right hashtags, next thing you know you could be hitting 100 likes on a picture of your big toe. I think with likes go for quality over quantity. I would rather have one guy that I'm into like my selfie than 10 guys I don't know. Because we all know that liking selfies is a modern mating call.
In conclusion, I'm not perfect, I care way more about this stuff than I should. There are dogs on Instagram with more followers than me, that doesn't feel good. But at the end of the day only one of us has access to indoor plumbing. So the lesson of the day is that there are two mistakes you can make in life. One is thinking you're special. The other is thinking you aren't. The amount of followers or likes you have does not define you. You should always be more focused on living your life than sharing it.
So here is basic math. Emphasis on BASIC.
The Numbers that Matter...
pH: Know Your Spot
What's important here isn't your actual pH value but knowing where you fall on the spectrum. If you're a basic 14, you own that 14 and you be as basic as you want, build your brand. If you're a super acidic 1, buy more black and use more sarcastic hashtags. If you're neutral at 7 enjoy the best of both worlds. Curl up on the couch in Victoria's Secrets sweats and watch the latest Indie film.
Should You Buy Those Shoes?
So I have a problem with buying shoes that I never actually wear and I know that my friends and I often struggle with how much of a sale is a good enough sale to justify buying yet another pair of shoes. Not only do we lack the funds for new shoes, but we also lack the closet space. So I've come up with a simple rule to decide whether or not to buy sale shoes. If the sale price is over 50% off you buy the shoes. If the sale price is under 50% off you still buy the shoes. Life's too short.
Group Dynamics
When you are trying to take a group picture it is important that you understand how many people you can have before you need 2 rows. Once you have more than 6 people, you need to have a back row and a front row of girls sorority squatting. If you have more than 13 people, you have to add a 3rd row. Also it's important to have an odd number at all times because we can't even.
And the Numbers that Don't...
Followers: Following Ratio
Some of you might be thinking "how many people can I follow and still be cool?" or "how many followers do I need to be cool?" and luckily for you I have the answer. Some say that you have to have more followers than you are following, others say you need over a thousand followers. I would like to say that HAVING FOLLOWERS DOESN'T MAKE YOU COOL. Being cool makes you cool. Like Winona Ryder manic pixie dream girl cool.(Before shoplifting. Stealing isn't cool.)
Also page views make you cool so share this blog with your friends.
Likes: Minutes Ratio
Perhaps it's an urban legend but I have heard of people who will delete a post if it doesn't get enough likes. So everyone who recognizes me as a verified social media expert (my brother) will ask me how many likes a post needs relative to how long it's been up. If a picture has more likes than minutes it has been posted I would say you have too much power. Too much clout/klout on social media is a dangerous thing. One day you could be struggling to get 11 likes on a bridal portrait but if you know the right people and use the right hashtags, next thing you know you could be hitting 100 likes on a picture of your big toe. I think with likes go for quality over quantity. I would rather have one guy that I'm into like my selfie than 10 guys I don't know. Because we all know that liking selfies is a modern mating call.
In conclusion, I'm not perfect, I care way more about this stuff than I should. There are dogs on Instagram with more followers than me, that doesn't feel good. But at the end of the day only one of us has access to indoor plumbing. So the lesson of the day is that there are two mistakes you can make in life. One is thinking you're special. The other is thinking you aren't. The amount of followers or likes you have does not define you. You should always be more focused on living your life than sharing it.
Wednesday, April 8, 2015
MeTV: Television for the Seriously Disturbed
Today's post reflects what appears to be a post-marathon wealth of free time but I can assure you that is all a facade. Free time is still a hop, skip and a month away but I have to start fantasizing now about what I will do with it if I'm going to survive the last few weeks of class. When I make my long-awaited return to leisure activities I expect the television schedule to be a little different. Here is a list of shows I have whipped up using 2 simple ingredients: shows that already exist and a dash of insanity. In my defense the current shows are simply not living up to my expectations and they could be greatly improved with a pinch of extra...something. You'll get the hang of it.
River Monsters Among Us
River Monsters terrifies me as is, imagine the same show only now the monsters aren't just confined to rivers. Every time I watch this show I have nightmares about leeches and piraiba even though I spend most of my time on land and therefore not in immediate danger of death by aquatic animal. Imagine a show that features all of the same predators from rivers, but capable of invading our every day lives. I'm talking piranhas in toilet tanks, arapaimas in swimming pools, and much, much worse. It's part Florida evening news and part Final Destination ("If only grandpa had checked the hot tub for a gator first...").
Friends With Benefits
I admit the main draw of this show would be the return of the original Friends cast but I hope to trick the majority of America into finally realizing that friends with benefits is a terrible life decision. Those 2 identical movies released in 2011 didn't really get this point across. This series would show how everyone's lives would be if they had hooked up according to The One With the Flashback. Ross and Phoebe separated after he learned that Street Phoebe once mugged him years ago. Chandler and Rachel happily occupy separate wings in a mansion upstate, Chandler is miserable transponsting but needs the money to support Rachel and her Sphinx cat collection. Joey and Monica have 6 sons, Joseph Angelo, Joseph Raphael, Joseph Dante, Joseph John, Joseph Francis and Joseph Stalin (Joey insisted, claiming he has definitely heard it before so it must be an ancestor and no one had the heart to tell him).
Extreme Hoarding: Full House
I have been waiting for someone to call Full House out for decades, and with the alleged reprise that I still believe is a particularly dedicated April Fool's joke, now might finally be my time. My first issue with them is that all of the wholesome family fun in this show reportedly takes place in San Francisco. I'm not buying it. San Francisco is Latin for Sodom and Gomorrah. My second issue is that I could make a strong case for human hoarding here. I mean there's 9 people in the immediate family, add an extra Olsen twin, Kimmy Gibbler is always there along with the guy who voiced Aladdin and this has to be violating some mass residential occupancy law. I realize Nancy Pelosi stays pretty busy practicing looks of disdain in a mirror so her botox addiction doesn't betray her whenever a Republican speaks, but if you can't control Full House, can you control The House?
America's Next Top Model Cycle 137: Little Women
If you don't watch Little Women: LA or Little Women: NY I'm really not sure what you're doing with your Wednesday nights. The drama and violence that always escalates with these women is comparable only to the tensions that rise in a house full of a dozen aspiring models. This cycle of ANTM would be like the British invasion, the LA little women would compete against the NY little women. My sincere hope is that when forced to work together, the women will start to get along, but the drama between the 2 cities is sure to continue. The challenges would be seemingly simple things like "share a meal without a fistfight ensuing" or "hear some gossip and don't repeat it" that no one on these shows is capable of. The makeover episode would turn especially violent after Terra is given extensions and Christy gets a buzz cut.
Intervention 2.0: Exorcism
Okay I've never seen this show but whenever I see it in the TV Guide I can't help but think about how it almost "went there". Interventions are so mainstream, who among us has never come home to a room full of friends that are "seriously concerned" and "want the best for us" and offer to help us "start wearing pants again" because our behavior "just isn't normal"? But exorcisms...I would totally tune in once a week to watch an exorcism. I imagine this show going down a lot like Catfish, someone would write in to the Vatican like "Dear Pope Francis...I need your help...used to be a model student...killing cats for sport...demonic...Satanic rituals...bloody prom dress...XOXO concerned friend."
Teen StepMoms
Can we talk for a minute about the fact that the former stars of 16 and Pregnant somehow always have money for manis and pedis? Not only do they all sport acrylic nails, but almost every episode shows at least one of them bonding with a friend at a nail salon. I'm almost 22, I've never been pregnant and I can't afford that. And since paying someone to paint my nails is impossible, paying someone to be my friend and come to the salon with me is out of the question. But this show would be entirely different, featuring teenagers who marry older men and become stepmoms to kids actually older than them. These teen stepmoms are out there, I promise. And I am so intrigued...high hopes for this show.
River Monsters Among Us
River Monsters terrifies me as is, imagine the same show only now the monsters aren't just confined to rivers. Every time I watch this show I have nightmares about leeches and piraiba even though I spend most of my time on land and therefore not in immediate danger of death by aquatic animal. Imagine a show that features all of the same predators from rivers, but capable of invading our every day lives. I'm talking piranhas in toilet tanks, arapaimas in swimming pools, and much, much worse. It's part Florida evening news and part Final Destination ("If only grandpa had checked the hot tub for a gator first...").
Friends With Benefits
I admit the main draw of this show would be the return of the original Friends cast but I hope to trick the majority of America into finally realizing that friends with benefits is a terrible life decision. Those 2 identical movies released in 2011 didn't really get this point across. This series would show how everyone's lives would be if they had hooked up according to The One With the Flashback. Ross and Phoebe separated after he learned that Street Phoebe once mugged him years ago. Chandler and Rachel happily occupy separate wings in a mansion upstate, Chandler is miserable transponsting but needs the money to support Rachel and her Sphinx cat collection. Joey and Monica have 6 sons, Joseph Angelo, Joseph Raphael, Joseph Dante, Joseph John, Joseph Francis and Joseph Stalin (Joey insisted, claiming he has definitely heard it before so it must be an ancestor and no one had the heart to tell him).
Extreme Hoarding: Full House
I have been waiting for someone to call Full House out for decades, and with the alleged reprise that I still believe is a particularly dedicated April Fool's joke, now might finally be my time. My first issue with them is that all of the wholesome family fun in this show reportedly takes place in San Francisco. I'm not buying it. San Francisco is Latin for Sodom and Gomorrah. My second issue is that I could make a strong case for human hoarding here. I mean there's 9 people in the immediate family, add an extra Olsen twin, Kimmy Gibbler is always there along with the guy who voiced Aladdin and this has to be violating some mass residential occupancy law. I realize Nancy Pelosi stays pretty busy practicing looks of disdain in a mirror so her botox addiction doesn't betray her whenever a Republican speaks, but if you can't control Full House, can you control The House?
America's Next Top Model Cycle 137: Little Women
If you don't watch Little Women: LA or Little Women: NY I'm really not sure what you're doing with your Wednesday nights. The drama and violence that always escalates with these women is comparable only to the tensions that rise in a house full of a dozen aspiring models. This cycle of ANTM would be like the British invasion, the LA little women would compete against the NY little women. My sincere hope is that when forced to work together, the women will start to get along, but the drama between the 2 cities is sure to continue. The challenges would be seemingly simple things like "share a meal without a fistfight ensuing" or "hear some gossip and don't repeat it" that no one on these shows is capable of. The makeover episode would turn especially violent after Terra is given extensions and Christy gets a buzz cut.
Intervention 2.0: Exorcism
Okay I've never seen this show but whenever I see it in the TV Guide I can't help but think about how it almost "went there". Interventions are so mainstream, who among us has never come home to a room full of friends that are "seriously concerned" and "want the best for us" and offer to help us "start wearing pants again" because our behavior "just isn't normal"? But exorcisms...I would totally tune in once a week to watch an exorcism. I imagine this show going down a lot like Catfish, someone would write in to the Vatican like "Dear Pope Francis...I need your help...used to be a model student...killing cats for sport...demonic...Satanic rituals...bloody prom dress...XOXO concerned friend."
Teen StepMoms
Can we talk for a minute about the fact that the former stars of 16 and Pregnant somehow always have money for manis and pedis? Not only do they all sport acrylic nails, but almost every episode shows at least one of them bonding with a friend at a nail salon. I'm almost 22, I've never been pregnant and I can't afford that. And since paying someone to paint my nails is impossible, paying someone to be my friend and come to the salon with me is out of the question. But this show would be entirely different, featuring teenagers who marry older men and become stepmoms to kids actually older than them. These teen stepmoms are out there, I promise. And I am so intrigued...high hopes for this show.
Wednesday, April 1, 2015
Say Yes April
Allow me to introduce you to a way of life known among the greater Dance Marathon community as "Say Yes April". A magical month where all your dreams can come true, your spirits go up and your grades go down. Say Yes April is the month where we say yes to everything we haven't been able to do for the past year because we were a little busy throwing a 24 marathon and raising $570,561.48. Say Yes April started a little early for me (aka Say Yes Senior Year), but here is a look at some of the things I have been able to say yes to in the past week...
Senior's Meeting at He's Not
Interestingly enough, the week after the marathon is actually just as busy as the week of the marathon because you have to finally catch up on all the schoolwork you've been neglecting as you deal with several transition meetings. After one such meeting, a group us took to one of our favorite bars because nothing aids insightful discussion like a blue cup (32oz of beer).
CFTK Bar Night
We had a benefit night at the infamous Library ("Oh hi Mom, I'm just at The Library." Plot twist, The Library = a bar, the library = a place to study. Fortunately, capitalization can't be conveyed over the phone). It was...interesting. And I enjoyed every second of it, from dancing on stage to squading up with my committee in the back, without worrying about how I was going to feed 2,000 people for 24 hours.
Nowruz
I had the opportunity to attend the Persian New Year celebration! If you know how obsessed I am with the Middle East and Iran in particular, then you can imagine how hype I was for this. I tried new foods, something I haven't done since the introduction of Bagel Bites (my fave was the bread, some things never change). I watched performances, listened to music, heard a Rumi recitation because if Rumi doesn't pump you up I don't know what will. And best of all, I learned how to dance to Persian music. After 2 hours of dancing, here is what I've learned. Persian dance is 1 part faucet wrists, 3 parts doing whatever Yasamin's doing.
#WhatTheLail (Becca's Bridal Shower)
In years past I would often spend weekends in Raleigh or Greenville, touring the state and spreading my unique brand of sass among all of my scattered friends. But currently, I can't tell you when the last time I left Chapel Hill for a whole weekend was. This weekend I was able to attend a bridal shower for one of my best friends since before anyone knew who Hilary Duff was. While the completely unfair arctic-geddon raged outside despite the sun, we pretended to be fancy as we sipped mimosas and lemonade, ate dainty cupcakes and gossiped like the middle schoolers we used to be.
Last Marathon Meeting at Linda's
Every Friday afternoon for the past 2 months or so I have had a meeting to help plan the marathon. Of course, having never been on a marathon committee before I am not particularly helpful at these meetings. More often than not I go for the cheese sticks and end up working on the sketches for a new swimwear line. We had our final marathon wrap-up meeting over cheese fries and Parmesan peppercorn ranch as we discussed pros (2 words. leftovers table) and cons (I didn't get to take a selfie with Chancellor Folt).
Brendan's Birth Week
The week surrounding the birth of my dearest Brendy is a 7 day long festival complete with parties, dinners and a cookie cake (don't get too excited, there were walnuts in it). Every day this week I have some sort of activity to celebrate the day that Brendan was born. Honestly, there are gods in some cultures celebrated with smaller fanfare. But as much as this week is about Brendan (17%) it's also about our friendships that do not end with our respective Dance Marathon positions. Those 13 are stuck with me for life because we're humans and dancers. Bet they regret applying now.
And make sure to stay tuned for...
LDOC
Yes, we have already started planning the festivities for our last LDOC. LDOC means last day of class for those of you who don't even go here.
If nothing above resonated with you on a spiritual level, the mere fact that I am posting this in the middle of the day and not at midnight is a testament to how amazingly luxurious a little free time can be.
Addendum: Those of you familiar with my #StopPatrick2014 post will be thrilled to learn that he finally took my advice, he has a new Instagram (52inc.records) that he lets someone much better at social media (S/O to Bridgette) run. Listening to me will take you far in life. Or get you killed, one of the two for sure.
Senior's Meeting at He's Not
Interestingly enough, the week after the marathon is actually just as busy as the week of the marathon because you have to finally catch up on all the schoolwork you've been neglecting as you deal with several transition meetings. After one such meeting, a group us took to one of our favorite bars because nothing aids insightful discussion like a blue cup (32oz of beer).
CFTK Bar Night
We had a benefit night at the infamous Library ("Oh hi Mom, I'm just at The Library." Plot twist, The Library = a bar, the library = a place to study. Fortunately, capitalization can't be conveyed over the phone). It was...interesting. And I enjoyed every second of it, from dancing on stage to squading up with my committee in the back, without worrying about how I was going to feed 2,000 people for 24 hours.
Nowruz
I had the opportunity to attend the Persian New Year celebration! If you know how obsessed I am with the Middle East and Iran in particular, then you can imagine how hype I was for this. I tried new foods, something I haven't done since the introduction of Bagel Bites (my fave was the bread, some things never change). I watched performances, listened to music, heard a Rumi recitation because if Rumi doesn't pump you up I don't know what will. And best of all, I learned how to dance to Persian music. After 2 hours of dancing, here is what I've learned. Persian dance is 1 part faucet wrists, 3 parts doing whatever Yasamin's doing.
#WhatTheLail (Becca's Bridal Shower)
In years past I would often spend weekends in Raleigh or Greenville, touring the state and spreading my unique brand of sass among all of my scattered friends. But currently, I can't tell you when the last time I left Chapel Hill for a whole weekend was. This weekend I was able to attend a bridal shower for one of my best friends since before anyone knew who Hilary Duff was. While the completely unfair arctic-geddon raged outside despite the sun, we pretended to be fancy as we sipped mimosas and lemonade, ate dainty cupcakes and gossiped like the middle schoolers we used to be.
Last Marathon Meeting at Linda's
Every Friday afternoon for the past 2 months or so I have had a meeting to help plan the marathon. Of course, having never been on a marathon committee before I am not particularly helpful at these meetings. More often than not I go for the cheese sticks and end up working on the sketches for a new swimwear line. We had our final marathon wrap-up meeting over cheese fries and Parmesan peppercorn ranch as we discussed pros (2 words. leftovers table) and cons (I didn't get to take a selfie with Chancellor Folt).
Brendan's Birth Week
The week surrounding the birth of my dearest Brendy is a 7 day long festival complete with parties, dinners and a cookie cake (don't get too excited, there were walnuts in it). Every day this week I have some sort of activity to celebrate the day that Brendan was born. Honestly, there are gods in some cultures celebrated with smaller fanfare. But as much as this week is about Brendan (17%) it's also about our friendships that do not end with our respective Dance Marathon positions. Those 13 are stuck with me for life because we're humans and dancers. Bet they regret applying now.
And make sure to stay tuned for...
LDOC
Yes, we have already started planning the festivities for our last LDOC. LDOC means last day of class for those of you who don't even go here.
If nothing above resonated with you on a spiritual level, the mere fact that I am posting this in the middle of the day and not at midnight is a testament to how amazingly luxurious a little free time can be.
Addendum: Those of you familiar with my #StopPatrick2014 post will be thrilled to learn that he finally took my advice, he has a new Instagram (52inc.records) that he lets someone much better at social media (S/O to Bridgette) run. Listening to me will take you far in life. Or get you killed, one of the two for sure.
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