Reindeer Wanted

Merry Christmas! Today I want to discuss the lesser known side jobs of Santa's reindeer. We all know holiday work can be a great way to make some extra cash. I was considering working at A.C. Moore during my Christmas break. That's where a lot of my money goes anyway, why not cut out the middle man? But when I considered how much of my break I would be spending on painkillers post-op I decided to leave the good people of Apex alone. 

As fun as holiday jobs can be, they are not sustainable for most lifestyles. Working a few weeks during December will most likely not afford you the goods and services you want to buy year round. And working one night a year definitely doesn't provide you with enough income to bring home the carrots. Santa himself only works one night a year but his income is supplemented by the sales tax collected on Black Friday. Obviously. So he's set. And what a lot of people don't realize is that Mrs. Claus's maiden name is Fields so she keeps a separate bank account with the earnings from her cookie empire. The elves are gainfully employed year-round making toys. 

That just leaves the reindeer. They all have second jobs. On the night of December 24th they are reindeer, but December 26th - December 23rd here's where you can find Santa's caribou.

Dasher makes his money at the tracks, betting he can beat out any other ungulate. He also freelances as a medicine runner similar to Balto.

Look closely in the background of the next music video you watch and you might just see Dancer cutting a rug.

Santa has been known to earn some extra cash posing at malls and Prancer took that route too, you can rent Prancer for your children's birthday party 363 days a year!

Vixen actually refuses to get a job so she is always on the hunt for a sugar daddy to pay her bills.

Comet got a sweet gig. He is on a rotating schedule to appear in the night sky a few times a year around the world. 

Cupid is the most enterprising of the reindeer and he runs a successful match making business.

Donner earns his keep by leading parties through difficult mountain passes near the North Pole. Sure one didn't go as planned but he has the kinks worked out now.

Last but not least, Blitzen pays the bills as a professional in the Canadian reindeer football league. 

wherever You would call me

I am currently working on recovering from wisdom teeth removal, which I will be blogging about soon, but in the meantime I wanted to share some exciting news with you all!

Exactly one week ago I learned that I got a spot on the ORIGINS 2019 team! In June I will be traveling to the Holy Land to volunteer alongside Israelis at a hospital.

I am super excited for this experience and have started studying up thanks to some book donations from my brother.

Many of you probably know all about my obsession with the Middle East, my passion for Israel and my love of volunteering. Does Dance Marathon ring a bell? I know I NEVER mention it. I first applied for this mission trip through an essay contest where 1st place would win a paid trip and 2nd place would win a half-paid trip. We can only assume I came in 3rd.

Part of the reason I am so fascinated by Israel and the Middle East is my own heritage. Guys frequently ask if I have Italian ancestry (maybe it's all the pasta and bread?) and when I speak Spanish in the classroom my students assume I'm Hispanic porque mi espanol es muy bueno y yo se cuando ellos usan mal lenguaje en espanol. Thanks to some recent DNA testing and the research my family did trying to find a bone marrow donor for my grandfather when he had leukemia, I have discovered that my paternal great-great-grandmother was Portuguese. A Sephardic Jew. Which is what I have been telling people since 2010 based on a series of guesses and unfounded assumptions. 

I feel extremely blessed to have this opportunity to travel to Israel but I will need to raise $2,000 to make this a reality. And that's the easy part. I also had to tell my mother I would be traveling to the other side of the world for the second year in a row. When I told her how long I would be gone for, she seemed relieved that it was only 8-10 days. But then I had to point out that she heard me wrong and it's really 18 days and she literally laid down on the floor. Pray for Missy.

I am starting my fundraising efforts now because I figured some people might be interested in a last minute tax refund before 2018 ends. Everyone who donates will receive a thank you sticker, letter explaining the mission, a slip to send in so that the money goes to my fundraising account and one of my blog business cards so you can keep up with my progress and travels.

If you are interested in receiving a fundraising letter from me please complete this Google form and I will mail you one! The form is also embedded at the bottom of this post whatever that means. If you are related to me by blood you are getting one no matter what. There is no unsubscribe button for you.

Slay Belles

Enjoy a 3 part makeup tutorial brought to you by my roommate Emily. I figured you guys might be interested in tips & tricks from someone who actually knows what they are doing & I wanted cute snow pics so this was a real win-win for me. Really beating 2 birds' faces with one beauty blender here. Someone explain that phrase to PETA.

And if you think that I watch these videos before I post them you are drastically overestimating how much I care.








Some pics of the finished lewk.

A Brief Inquiry Into (My) Online Relationships

So, as we all know,  I like to date. Online date. Okay well I don't particularly like it but it's a necessary evil. An evolutionary stepping stone standing between me and the children I hope to someday raise and vaccinate.

Online dating is different from...in person dating? What do we call that? Sounds fake. Something I have had to come to terms with is that not every online match leads to a date. I would say my closure rate is a solid 1-2%. Not to brag. Meet cutes exist in romcoms but in my life - a Raecom, if you will, we get match cutes. And not very many. A lot of online conversations are full of puns (on their end), sarcasm (on my end) and all around cringey.

But every once in a while I find someone who makes decent conversation. Like Bob.*

I chatted with Bob for months. Mostly just small talk and getting to know one another. Some mild flirtations but we lived far apart and never met or planned to go on a date. In the last month or so I did notice that we weren't talking as much. I mentioned that and Bob said that he was just busy with work and he wasn't getting my message notifications for some reason.

I know what you are all thinking. Bob is ghosting me. Bob met someone else. Bob got tired of me. Bob forgot my hut number. Or got eaten by a lion. Well you're all wrong. This story is about to take a sharp left turn.

I told Bob that I missed him and he asked what I missed. I assumed he just wanted an ego boost because he is a male. I told him I missed talking to him and seeing his face.

He sent me a picture and said "this face? with my wife...OF FIVE YEARS?" and the picture was of him and a woman who I can only assume is his wife. Of five years.** 

This was news to me! So after my basic "ummm...what?" response, I spent the rest of the day freaking out. And of course adding more messages to cover all the bases.

First you have your run-of-the-mill "you're such a liar" to provide evidence that I had no idea he was married. Then I had to throw in an "I'm glad we never met" so anyone reading these messages off Bob's phone or in a court of law knows that there was no face-to-face interaction.

After putting on my detective hat...I decided that the picture and last message definitely came from his wife, a woman we'll call Bob's wife.*** The first clue...Bob said he wasn't getting my notifications (if Bob even is his real name) (oh wait it's not I made that up). A possible explanation is that his wife logged into his account on her phone so his phone logged him out while someone else was using it. I mean I'm not a scientist, I don't know. But that's my best guess. The second clue was that Bob probably wouldn't tell me he was married. All signs pointed to Bob's wife.

I worried that she was going to make me appear on the Dr. Phil show with her and Bob where I would be introduced as a home wrecker and booed by the studio audience. I of course want to meet Dr. Phil...but not like this.

After a long day of picturing random members of the public coming to my defense and Dr. Phil McGraw explaining that I was a victim in all of this too while Bob's wife is being held back by security members as this has taken a Jerry Springer turn, she finally opened my confused and surprised messages. I decided it was time for a proper introduction.

"Is this Bob's wife?" I asked, afraid of how she would respond and worried that I was making things worse.

Her response? "Hi."

I apologized profusely, assured her that I had no idea and that we never met and that she deserves so much better.

And Bob's wife said that she was sorry for dropping a bombshell on me. SHE apologized to ME. I told her she didn't have to apologize for anything, she told me that she knew I had no idea he was married and that I deserved better too. And that's the story of how Bob's wife and I became best friends.

I'm thinking of sending her a Christmas card. But I don't have her address. Or phone number. Or name. Last I heard she was gathering evidence to confront Bob and I wish her all the luck in that (#GIRLGANG). I'm dying for an update but this is one story I might never get to the bottom of. It's now a mystery right up there with who killed JonBenet and is Minnesota actually part of Canada.

And maybe some stories are better left unfinished. I would love to message Bob again and hope that his wife would reply and update me on happenings that are none of my business but hey, I'm not married to the idea.


*Names have been changed to protect the innocent.
**Okay names also changed to protect the guilty.
***I don't actually know her name but I highly doubt her birth certificate reads "Bob's wife" so this alias seems safe.