Today was Disney HERO Day at school and I knew I would have to defend my choice heroine & mistress of all evil, Maleficent. I get that she's not your conventional Disney hero but let's review the case.
- First of all, the entire plot line of Sleeping Beauty is set in motion because Maleficent was not invited to a baby - viewing? receiving? watch party? - IDK. But literally everyone else was invited but her. That's so rude. She goes anyway AND brings a gift. Now that's class. Emily Post could never.
- If we are to believe the Angelina Jolie version (which I do), King Stefan was a royal are. Cursing the child of a man who did you wrong? I'm sorry but that's fair game. Love IS a battlefield. Aurora is a civilian casualty? Them's the rules.
- Speaking of, is it really a curse to sleep indefinitely? I think that's a blessing. It's as if Aurora's godparents are Benadryl and Ambien.
- Which brings me to my final point. I think the greatest gift anyone could give a girl (besides plain black hair ties, we always need more of those), is a medically or magically induced coma upon turning 16 while she awaits true love. That would make my life SO much better y'all have no idea. I should BE so lucky to have a Maleficent.
- And another thing. Was Maleficent using her raven Diablo to warn us that birds aren't real? I mean. We never see Diablo lay an egg. Or wake up early and get a worm. Or take center stage in a delicious autumnal feast. What we see him do is spy on Aurora and report her location to Maleficent. BIRDS. AREN'T. REAL.
I prepared some handy little business cards so I could argue my case on the go.
So yeah, I repped my girl Mal. And I went to great lengths to do it. I created not 1, not 2, but 3 different horn prototypes. The first 2 really lacked the structural integrity to make it through the day. But after some architectural adjustments, my ~lewk~ was complete.
My first attempt involved styrofoam unicorn horns that I deconstructed and reassembled into really nice horns, but covering the white horns in black felt made the whole thing way too heavy. The second time around I used some Model Magic (TM) and molded it into the shape of the horns. Now this LOOKED great and was light BUT...there wasn't time for it to dry. So I figured encasing them in hot glue was the way to go. It wasn't.
I painted those bad boys black and they barely survived a 15 second walk to the teachers' lounge. But did I give up? No. I couldn't let my staff & raven & flowy black clothes & overall demeanor be my only props. Third time was a charm. Just cardstock. There's a lesson in there somewhere about less is more but that's never really been my thing.
At long last...I was ready.
And as you can see, ya girl BODIED it. Stay spooky.
