McBlogging

Well. I'm sitting in my car in the McDonald's parking lot writing this blogpost because my internet is down at home.

Today was a remote learning day, so some readers might be wondering why I didn't just write this blogpost earlier when my internet was working. Contrary to popular belief, when teachers work from home we really are working.

My day involved troubleshooting usernames and passwords so that my students have a fun way to review vocabulary with interactive online games instead of reading a PDF.

It involved sending some happy birthday emails and cat GIFs to students who are trying to celebrate safely during a pandemic.

I updated my presentations with more current and relevant examples and pictures because teaching is reinventing even when it ain't broke.

And of course I had to triple check all of my virtual learning links to make sure that my online classroom is running smoothly and safely.

Then I painstakingly reworded a test to fit the character limits of Kahoot so that my kids can take practice tests as an engaging online quiz. And of course I threw in some wholesome Taylor Swift and NBA memes for good measure.

I emailed answers to student questions ranging from "is there a zoom today?" to "can you write me a recommendation letter?"

The best part of my day was reading through discussion boards where my students and I got to know each other better. They shared their likes and dislikes and talked to their classmates about The Office and basketball and their pet dogs. 

And I'm really sad that we didn't get to do icebreakers in person. You see, no one wants my kids back in school more than me. I am painfully extroverted. I've had my classroom unpacked and ready to go since August. 

I miss talking to my kids about who won the soccer game and what happened on Grey's Anatomy and which celebrities are feuding on Twitter. I miss them making fun of me. I miss them cringing when I sing along to the Glee cast album in class. I miss spending too much money on Halloween candy at Target and then being shocked that they always go for sour stuff over chocolate. I miss how excited they get when they think they got me off topic but in reality I am a train that is easily derailed because I genuinely love talking to them about the things they care about. 

As much as I wish things would go back to normal tomorrow, I think it's important to consider the long-term consequences of high schoolers returning before teachers are vaccinated. 

You can find more information here. And if you agree, I would appreciate you signing this petition. And if you disagree, that's fine too. There are no easy solutions that will make everyone happy. In the words of Tamra Judge, "that's my opinion."

We're not asking for "more days off" because I can assure you, virtual learning creates MORE work for teachers, not less.

All we're asking for is time. To reopen safely and sustainably.

New Year, Pneu Monia

I think it's finally time for me to reflect on this time last year. Mostly because I have no desire to reflect on this time this year.

This is what I thought we would be getting.

But this is what we actually got, am I right?

While the pandemic had yet to reach America (as far as we know) back in January 2020, I was dealing with some concerning respiratory symptoms. Mainly a cough. It was a constant tickle in my throat that I could not get rid of, like a Reddit notification.

So I did what anyone in my position would do.

And by my position - I mean an American with American healthcare.

I complained and then insisted I was fine when anyone suggested going to see a doctor. I don't know about you, but where I come from (again, America), doctors cost money. I was convinced that it would cost me between $40 and $90 to see my doctor. Now I am not sure where I got these numbers from. I super don't understand insurance. My thought process is to look at the highest price on my insurance card, and if that doesn't seem worth it, then don't go to the doctor. BUT! Take advantage of the healthcare you know is free. Grocery store cart wipes. Public restroom soap. Restaurant napkins. 

So I continued to live my life and hack up my lungs until my throat felt like raw beef jerky, if you can imagine that. I finally broke down and asked my mom what the copay would be if I went to the walk-in clinic at my doctor's office. I didn't want to ask her earlier because she might have tried to bully me into "putting my health first" and "skipping Hobby Lobby this week" and other things I don't want to do.

When Missy informed me that my copay should be $10, I figured I could swing the office visit. So I got up early and headed to walk-in hours, motivated by the hope of strong medication and Sandra's donuts.

I got to see my normal doctor and after listening to my lungs and hearing my other symptoms, she said I needed to go downstairs for a chest x-ray. Not so fast Dr. N! First, I had 2 very important questions for her.

1 - Would I need to remove my earrings for the x-ray. Because if so, it just wouldn't be worth it. No one has that kind of time and patience. I'll just have to die.

And 2 - How much would it cost? Now, my doctor said she didn't know. But I simply could not accept that. 

When you see a cute tote bag in the 50% off bin, and the price tag doesn't show the 50% discount so it might be $10, but it could be $5...that is a calculated risk that I am willing to take. If it's not on sale I can always have the cashier take it off my ticket. Or I can mention that it was advertised as on sale and see if they make me an offer. 

But with a medical procedure...what are my options? I certainly can't give the x-ray back. Mainly because they didn't let me keep it but also because the cost is mainly due to the equipment needed for the procedure itself and not the film it's printed on.

As much as I understood that my doctor really did not know how much it would cost me after insurance, I needed her to understand that unless I got a reasonable estimate, they would not be radiating my chest cavity.

So I pulled out my insurance card because we were gonna do this together. Now this poor woman is probably thinking "I did not go to 4 years of medical school and complete a residency to answer insurance benefit questions." And I totally get that. She had more important things to do. But ultimately, she was more willing to do a task beneath her skill set than I was willing to pay for a procedure above my salary.

She came back with paperwork verifying the x-ray was free and after pinky promising that I wasn't with child and keeping all 12 of my earrings in, they performed the x-ray.

Oh yeah, I had walking pneumonia. Nothing like Waltzing Matilda. 

BIBLE TL; DR Mary & Martha

Back in the day Jesus and his disciples used to walk all over the place in their Bethlehem cruizers sandals while The Boys Are Back in Town played in the background. At least that's what I like to think happened. There were no vloggers back then so who's to say, aside from Matthew, Mark, Luke & John. 

One day, Jesus and the bois were passing through the town of Bethany. Bethany was like a suburb of Jerusalem. All the retail convenience of the big city with less traffic. There were three siblings who lived in Bethany named Mary, Martha and Lazarus who were total Jesus fangirls.

While Jesus was passing through town, Martha was like “Jesus! Jesus! Over here! Come here!” because she heard that Jesus told the best stories. Jesus was like "aight, bet" so He came inside and told some stories. While Jesus was in charge of story time, Mary sat at his feet and listened. She even put her phone away and everything.

While Mary was listening to Jesus, Martha was all busy, like Swiffering and cooking and cleaning and dusting and emptying the lint trap in the dryer because she didn’t want the house to burn down with the Messiah inside and she knows lint traps are the number one cause of home fires. Martha was big mad because she was doing all the work while Mary just chilled. So she snitched to Jesus expecting him to like, smite Mary or something. 

But plot twist! Jesus was like “girl, take a chillaxative." And He didn't tell Mary to get up and go help Martha. He didn't even tell Martha He was disappointed in her. Instead He just said that what Mary had chosen was better and it would not be taken for her...which is much more cryptic and foreboding. Kind of a cliffhanger. 

So next time your mom tells you to clean your room you should tell her this story.