The Year of Our Lord and Taylor

I think I speak for everyone - in general - and when I say that there were only 2 things worth living for in 2020 ... Jesus and Taylor Swift.

On December 10th my alarm clock (Emily) woke me up with the news that Taylor Alison Swift, the only bright spot in the hellscape that is 2020, was releasing yet another album at midnight. So although I truly had every intention of beginning my final paper before Saturday, I had no choice but to stay up until midnight. The paper wasn't due 'til Sunday anyway. 

I listened to evermore once as soon as it was released and my instant favorites were gold rush, ivy and closure. Though I did have to buy the clean version of ivy.

Instead of spending Friday working on my paper, I processed evermore through doodles.

Honestly it was a 20 page paper, I'm confident that I could have snuck it in there and my professor would be none the wiser.

Now since every Buzzfeed ranking I've seen of the evermore tracks are wayyyyy off, I decided to compile my own. Unfortunately, I have yet to hear the bonus tracks from the deluxe physical edition because I have no means of playing a CD. Of course I did purchase a physical copy of folklore

1. ivy

Wow. Such feelings. And the concept that ivy is able to take over many surfaces because of its aerial root system, and she, "can't stop you putting roots in my dreamland"??? I'm dead. I died. RIP me.

2. closure

I always want closure and I never got closure until this song (and Say You're Sorry by Sara Bareilles) gave me closure. Being triggered by seeing the shape of someone's name? I thought I was the only one who felt that. 

3. gold rush

Track 3 is almost always my favorite song. I don't know what it is but the track 3s just hit different. I don't think I've ever been with a guy that everyone else wanted. Actually, most of my exes were with me BECAUSE no one else wanted them. But I can't imagine that would feel good.

4. long story short

I love the idea of leaning into an identity and wearing that shoe everywhere you go. And getting to a point in a relationship where it's not all about tit for tat because you just want to make the other person happy? I mean, can't relate but it does sound nice.

5. tolerate it

This song. Is so real. For every woman who has settled for acceptance when she deserves adoration. 

6. 'tis the damn season

It really 'tis. I'm already working on this sweater for next year.

7. willow

We all know those people. The people who seem to get whatever they want in life. The more that you say, the less I know? Yes, queen.

8. champagne problems

I don't dislike this song but I just can't get into the mind frame of someone who would turn down a proposal.

9. marjorie

I really relate to this song because she says that Marjorie always went "past where our feet could touch" and I ALWAYS get yelled at by lifeguards for being too far out when I am not even far so, I stand with Marge.

10. no body, no crime

Okay I get a lot of hate for this song being so low on the list but I do like it. I just prefer to think of it as a The Other Woman type thing where the friend and sister and mistress work together. Kind of continuing the idea presented in august that the other woman is just a woman who wants to be loved. And how often do we even know when we're the other woman?

11. happiness

For years I have resonated with this concept that "both of these things can be true" and I love this song for expressing that. It's like Carrie Bradshaw said, "if you love someone and you break up, where does the love go?" The love lingers along with the pain and you just have to remember you will be happy again. At least that's what my therapist tells me.

12. coney island

"If I can't relate to you anymore then who am I related to?" To me that captures the fear of sharing a life with someone and knowing it could all come crashing down and then what will you be left with? Your spouse becomes your immediate family, so what happens if they leave? Who is your family then? 

13. evermore

Catching your breath and catching your death, to me, is like that point in a relationship where you feel secure. And you exhale. And then the other shoe inevitably drops. And you think you will die and that you will never feel better ever again and then before you know it Taylor Swift releases a new album and you have a reason to live again. It's the circle of life.

14. dorothea

Okay I know people are thinking that maybe Dorothea is the name of Gigi & Zayn's baby but considering Sophie & Joe didn't name their daughter Invisible String, I'm not sure how much we can read into this.

15. cowboy like me

Maybe I don't get it because I'm not a cowboy. I do love the idea of a raccoon playing the bandit in the music video.

Actually - the Buzzfeed poll of folklore tracks vs. evermore tracks was way off too. But I suppose I have my fellow Buzzfeeders to blame for that. The most surprising results to me were as follows:

What...? Of course I don't dislike champagne problems, but cardigan was like that song. And it still is, isn't it? I have a great dad but when Taylor sang "leavin' like a father" ... I felt that. 

Again...what? I like the emotions of exile but I think it hits a little too close to home for me. It's a bummer, isn't it? But 'tis the damn season is a BOP. I'm already working on my Dec. 13th/Dec. 25th Christmas sweater for next year.

I suppose I shouldn't be as surprised by this one. These songs are so similar in sentiment, but I guess I have a recency bias and others have a primacy bias? My favorite Taylor album is always the most recent one. So in a few months I can be more objective. But for now...

Nativity Scream

I don't know about you guys, but I have always loved a Nativity scene. But they are also surprisingly expensive. So this year I decided to improvise to teach Nathan about the birth of Jesus. Not everyone was on board.

Here is my attempt at teaching Nathan about the birth of Jesus. As you can see, he's a heathen.

I did spend literal days making him a gorgeous and in no way ugly Christmas sweater that displays his love for demolishing everything and his Memaw.

So enjoy those pics as much as Nathan enjoys ignoring me.

BIBLE TL; DR Mary & Joseph

A long, long time ago Betty White wanted to update the Wikipedia pages for Roman territories. So obviously a census needed to be done so she could have an accurate idea of populations and demographics and what not. Unfortunately, back then every mail carrier operated like the Greensboro Post Office. So the leaders decided it was best to just ask everyone to go back to their hometown and be like "present" and then leave.

A carpenter named Joseph was living in the big city of Nazareth at the time and he needed to go all the way back to Bethlehem. He had to travel about 90 miles - or as they called it in those days - 5 days of walking. His fiancee, Mary posted an engagement Instagram pic and tagged Joseph. #nofilter She dropped a pin in Bethlehem, an angel saw the post and appeared to her and told her that she was God’s favorite and she would have God’s baby, the savior of the world. The angel also appeared to Joseph so he wouldn’t call The Maury Show.

While traveling through the desert, service was pretty bad. Expedia.com wouldn't load and by the time they arrived in town, there were no vacancies. This sounds like the beginning of a horror movie, but there is some good news. They were able to find a barn to stay in because rustic weddings weren't quite INN yet. (get it?)

The tired couple was happy to have a place to stay and Joseph was happy there was no couch for him to sleep on because Mary swears she told him multiple times to call ahead. Mary had the baby with no meds, and they wrapped him up in cloth and laid him down on some clean straw in the manger. It was probably clean, right? 

They named the baby Jesus because God kind of had dibs on naming rights and He chose Jesus. So if Mary wanted to name him Jakxen or Oakleigh, that was too bad. Also they got the baby vaccinated. And circumcised. 

While this was happening there were some shepherds nearby...shepherding and what not. An angel appeared to them announced the good news of the savior’s birth. The shepherds totally wanted in on that action so they headed over to the manger. The manger was a total hotspot now.

Meanwhile, 3 wisemen (where did they find THREE?) also had FOMO, so they followed a bright star to Bethlehem and brought baby Jesus presents. But instead of rattles and blankets and diapers they brought gold and frankincense and myrrh. I’m sure Mary and Joseph appreciated the gold. And honestly Mary was probably a fan of the healing powers of frankincense because Western medicine - or as I call it, medicine - wasn't invented yet. Maybe Mary was like, the first brand ambassador for MLM, Eternal Living (TM).

Everyone was praising God because babies are adorable and if I was Mary I would have been like "what about me, natural childbirth over here," but she was probably not a diva about it.

And for the next 33 years, anytime Joseph messed up as a parent he probably heard, "oh it's okay Joseph, it's only the SON OF GOD AND SAVIOR OF THE WORLD, I'm sure his wrist will heal in no time."

Last year's nativity story.

You Get What You Pay For & These Christmas Cards Are Free

Small Business Christmas

As you may have noticed, we are in a pandemic. Earth has been closed for about 3 months now and that has consequences. There are some big industries failing and asking for bailouts despite the million and billion dollar bonuses afforded to their C-suites, but there are also small businesses failing and unlikely to get a lifeline. 

This holiday season, instead of sending your money to sit in Jeff Bezos's vault where it awaits his next divorce settlement or funding China's loooooong record of human rights violations, I recommend that you attempt to shop small businesses (and that does not mean MLMs).

Let me be clear - I don't think it's possible for the average American to completely stop buying anything made in China. I wish it was, but I still rely on Amazon for those random things I can't find anywhere else (read: brown food coloring). Although my mother has waged a personal war on China and banned TikTok from her home, I understand that in the short term I am beholden to some Chinese-made products. But when I can help it, I try to buy products made in America, South America, and other places that aren't China.

Aside from their deplorable crimes against the Uighurs, their death grip on Hong Kong, and their cultural genocide of Tibetan Buddhism, there's also that small issue of free speech. 

As much as I love a $5 t-shirt, it's just not worth it. There are so many small businesses in this country, your state, or hometown that need your support right now. And there are streamlined platforms that make that easier! 

Etsy is an American website where you can buy handmade products right from the source! One website, accesses to a ton of small businesses and creative individuals. Most Etsy shops have a free shipping option if you spend a certain amount and shop owners will have holiday sales just like the big retailers.

Redbubble is an Australian website where you can find designs from artists all over the world and have them printed on a variety of products. My personal favorite is the stickers but they have tote bags, t-shirts, wall art and more. The charts below show where Redbubble products are manufactured.

Spoonflower is a FABULOUS company headquartered in Durham, North Carolina! At Spoonflower you can find designs created by people around the globe and get it printed on fabrics and wallpaper. I am obsessed with Spoonflower and at this point I feel like I have to own the spoon at least.

I have my own Etsy shop as well as Redbubble and Spoonflower pages and I can assure you that artists are compensated for sales. In my case I just use my commission to buy more stickers and fabrics, and the economic ripple effect lives on! You can also check out Facebook marketplace, though I will warn you you're not allowed to sell animals or organs there and they will ban you. So I hear.

Finally I want to introduce you to a Missouri-based company that I have grown to love in the last few months. But first, I have to paint you a picture. Actually - I have a literal picture.

This joke all started a few years ago in a little church called Holden Beach Chapel. That's the church my family goes to when we're on vacation. We've been going there for about seven years now and my dad always loves it. Mainly because he's super proud that the guest preacher is often one of my brother's teachers and also because afterwards we have brunch at his favorite restaurant, the Purple Onion Cafe.

So my dad has this habit of...let's call it active listening. He's the guy who is mumbling his approval, saying amen and turning around to make eye contact with Stephen so they can laugh at little sermon jokes together. 

This particular Sunday, we were singing the classic Christian hymn, Blessed Assurance. You know, "this is my story, this is my song," written in the 1870s? My dad must have been feeling it because he was grunting his endorsement. After the third, way too loud, "MMMMM" my brothers and I had to stop making eye contact. Why was he so into this song he has heard and sung hundreds of times before?

After the service we debriefed and my brother Patrick mentioned my dad's sudden enthusiasm for Blessed Assurance. He said something along the lines of, "he was really feeling it, dad was like - MMM this IS my story" and it was basically the funniest thing that has ever happened.

So now that's our thing and one day on Facebook I stumbled across an ad for a t-shirt that I knew my dad had to have.

I ordered it for his birthday along with a shirt for myself, and I was hooked. It's a Christian company and I guess you could say they are fishers of this woman.

Elly and Grace has amazing designs, colors, customer service and a commitment to the American economy. Not to mention, wearing clothes with biblical sayings helps remind me to try to be a better person. Of course I still have a long way to go, maybe I should place another order.